How do you Chipotle?
I have a love hate relationship with the burritos at Chipotle. It works like this. I love burritos. I hate Chipotle. It’s been a full year since I stepped foot in a Chipotle, and it was a year ago this week that I vowed not to return for complete year. I’m addicted to burritos, and I knew that unless I forced myself into some kind of challenge, I would end up giving in to my burrito craving, and going back to Chipotle- knowing full well that it just sucks. Or I should say, it always disappoints.
Here’s part of the problem. I spent the two years before moving to New York, living in Los Angeles. No shortage of good burritos in that city. Every little tiny hole in the wall on every corner made an amazing burrito. And so cheap too. None of this $1.75 to add guacamole to your burrito buuuuullshit. It’s a crime against humanity.
Before that I lived in Boston, where you could depend on places like Boca Grande or Anna’s Taqueria…almost as good as the greatest burrito I’ve ever had (which was at Garcia’s, a little bit south of San Francisco, btw). What have I done to deserve being stuck in the most Burrito challenged city in the country??? We have figured out how to serve Jerk Chicken from a sidewalk, Pizza from a truck and Korean food from everywhere… and yet making a good, cheap burrito seems to elude this city.
It’s not that Chipotle is a chain either. I often revelled in the joy of a Baja Chicken Burrito from Baja Fresh, easily my goto lunch while working in L.A. That burrito, which was the same price as the cheapest burrito at Chipotle (i.e. the one with no meat), came with guac already in it. And they had a free salsa bar. But you know what? This isn’t about Baja Fresh. This is about Chipotle. I have my theory on burritos, and why Chipotle’s aren’t that good- but I’m going to give it one more chance. Obviously there are alot of you who love Chipotle. The lines, especially at the one at the bottom of my building (49th btw. 6+7th), border on ridiculous. So here’s your chance to convince me.
I’m going to eat at Chipotle for the first time in a year, and I want to know what to get. I love carnitas, but the first two times I ate there, I got carnitas and I didn’t like my burrito. I thought, “Maybe carnitas isn’t their thing” and switched it up to chicken the next time. Still no good. What’s your secret? Is the Fajita burrito the way to go? Which kind of beans do you get? Which salsa? Do you have to suck it up, and pay for the $1.75 guacamole for the burrito to be good? Cheese? Sour cream? What’s the magical combo that causes a person to be willing to wait in line for 30 minutes, just for the privilege of buying an overpriced burrito that couldn’t hold a candle to anything you’d get in California.
Let’s hear it. Post your recommendation as a comment below. You have to understand, I desperately want (and need) Chipotle to be good. It’s like a drug addict wishing that methodone made him feel the same way as heroin. Please help me. I need to figure out a way to shoot up Chipotle, and make it feel like I’m eating a burrito that doesn’t taste like crap. If not, I may end up in some gutter mumbling about “Carnitas Super Burritos”, and $1.75 guacamole.
I am a little gay for farmer’s markets. It’s something that’s happened in the past year, and I’m not ashamed to admit it. I love picking out fresh produce, and knowing that it is not only super fresh, but that it was actually grown really close to where it’s going to end up being eaten. You might be surprised to know that underneath this fat exterior of a guy, who eats some of the unhealthiest things for lunch every day, is actually somone who goes home every night and cooks dinner for his hard working wife. Last night, it was Thai green curry, with fresh basil purchased yesterday from the just opened Midtown Farmer’s Market!
I’m excited to report, yesterday was the first day of the annual Midtown Farmer’s Market. Every Wednesday, Thursday and Friday for the next 
If you look at my 
Now, let me clarify a little bit before the commentors go crazy. I like a good chicken parm sub. I’m a fat man. I obviously don’t think there is anything wrong with taking a piece of chicken, covering it in bread crumbs, deep frying it and serving it on a gigantic roll covered in cheese and sauce. It’s good. I’m just saying, if given the choice for lunch, unlike most people, I would rather have any kind of Asian food (or Latin food, or street meat), before Italian.
Name: India
After doing this site for over a year, I have become the go to guy for lunch recommedations at my work. And while I’m usually pretty good for a decent suggestion, there is one request that has, and will always stump me. “Where can I get something healthy?” I’ve been to a ton of places in Midtown, and they all have one thing in common. None of them are healthy. (Look at my 
What can I say? Fat guys don’t eat healthy food. If we did, we wouldn’t be fat anymore, and then we couldn’t make jokes about how fat we are for the amusement of people who read our websites. Plus, you’re not going to trust a skinny guy to tell you where good food is. I guess I wouldn’t mind eating healthy, if it tasted good- and they gave you more of it. Healthy food is always less filling. Maybe if they had healthy food, in an all you can eat buffet form, I’d be down with it.
