Midtown Lunch

I try my best not to be too negative on this site, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to vent. Every once in awhile I’ll share some of the more angry useful emails I get in a post called “Airing of Grievances”. (If the Eater Complaints Dept. would like royalties, I’ll be happy to pay up…)

This amazing email came into the old ML Inbox the other day about Cafe Cello, my favorite place for roast pork in Midtown (on 46th btw. 5+6th):

“I would never want to hurt a restaurant’s business by accusing them of something I’m not sure of, so I am alerting you rather than posting a comment. I love Café Cello‘s food-I work across the street and have eaten there many times-but I wonder about the meat that is not pork or chicken. All beef dishes I have had there have tasted very peculiar. The pieces are cut strangely, and the texture is weird for beef. In short, I don’t think their beef is from a cow.”

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I try my best not to be too negative on this site, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to vent. Every once in awhile I’ll share some of the more angry useful emails I get in a post called “Airing of Grievances”. (If the Eater Complaints Dept. would like royalties, I’ll be happy to pay up…)

Ambrosia’s Bi Bim Bap circa August 2007. Back when it was called “the best in Midtown”.

There’s only so many complaints you can get before something has to be done. When Ambrosia, the generic Midtown deli on 45th btw. 5+6th, launched their Korean food station I thought it might be the best Bi Bim Bap in all of Midtown. They gave you a ton of banchan (the little Korean side dishes), it was $7 and it was delicious. Since then it has slowly deteriorated and after this email yesterday, I think we might have to take away its “Midtown Lunch” status.

“I realize that your post on Ambrosia being the best Bi Bim Bap in midtown was quite some time ago, but let me tell you I had a very sad experience. The item costs $11.89 now with tax, and it is just beef and lettuce…with 2 mushrooms and 2 strips of red peppers.”

But wait… there’s more.

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Photo courtesy of Lunch’er “Chip Beef”

On Friday Midtown Lunchers poured into Certe (on 55th btw. 5+6th) for the chance to sample their “lobster roll” for the one day only price of $8.95.  I put lobster roll in quotes because as the complaints started to pour in it became clear that this sandwich was more of a lobster wrap than a lobster roll. This comment from Lunch’er “Sushiburger” pretty much sums it up:

Just had the Lobster Roll. They really shouldn’t call it a Lobster Roll since.. well… there’s NO ROLL! Maybe you guys knew this already but I didn’t realize that it was a wrap.. and not an actual roll. The lobster mix was fine… nothing amazing.. but nothing bad… it wasn’t too overloaded with mayo as fillers… and there was a decent amount of lobster, but having to eat it in a wrap just ruined the whole thing. i placed the order from my office to pick it up. and I couldn’t turn back since they had it ready for me right when i got there. In any case, it was pretty good for what it was but I was looking forward to biting into a roll and having the wrap was disappointing.

And Lunch’er “Chip Beef” added this:

“Apart from being served on a fucking wrap (uncool, unacceptable), Certe somehow saw it fit to include CORN and RED ONIONS in their lobster salad. These foolish ingredients totally overpowered whatever small amount of actual lobster flavor that this “thing” was packing.”

Certe (being the attentive Midtown Lunch readers that they are) immediately responded with this apology, and make good.

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I try my best not to be too negative on this site, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to vent. Every once in awhile I’ll share some of the more angry useful emails I get in a post called “Airing of Grievances”. (If the Eater Complaints Dept. would like royalties, I’ll be happy to pay up…)

First up is Flavors, the generic deli in the passageway at the bottom of the Fox News Building (on 47th btw. 6+7th).  It looks like they’ve responded to the first grievance that was aired against them by shrinking the size of the plastic containers their salads come in.  Clearly, though, not everybody is happy about it.

“We all just trekked over to Flavors over on 47th as we normally do and found they reduced the salad bowl sizes to half the size of what we’re used to. They’re normally pretty awesome salads. Kind of like a bait and switch that radio stations do when they launch. They play all good music and then voila, one day it’s all commercials once they have their loyal listener base. All good, but prices didn’t reduce. So we decided to trek elsewhere, no biggy, but on the way out I asked the manager why they have decided to go with salad bowls half the size of the original ones. Their answer – Corporate says it’s to reduce our carbon footprint, but it still holds the same amount. We all failed to see how a bowl visually half the size could hold the same amount. Wish your team could have been there – priceless”

First people complain that you don’t fill your salad containers all the way up.  Then you shrink the container to fit the salad, and people complain about that.  Even I have a bit of sympathy for you on this one.  Clearly you can’t win Flavors. Maybe you should just give up on the whole generic deli thing and become a… I don’t know… Chinese buffet? (Just a thought…)

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I’ve been made fun of a lot in the comments since I decided to not eat one of those terrible looking, shrink wrapped sandwiches from the Walgreens in Times Square. For any of you who may have missed it, I’ll briefly recap: awhile back, I posted that if there was something you were afraid to try in Midtown you could “dare” me to eat it, and I would be happy to oblige. Whether it was banana sushi from a generic deli, or steak from Tad’s, or a beef liver sandwich from a cart, the idea was that I would be more than willing to try something that a Midtown Lunch’er was curious about, but didn’t want to eat themselves.

I was dared to eat a sandwich from the new Walgreens in Times Square- and fully intended to eat it, until I got there and discovered that the sandwiches were actually pre-processed and shipped from Massachusetts. It was like being dared to eat a Lean Cuisine or a Stouffer’s Pizza, and I thought it went against the spirit of the original “service” I agreed to provide. I put my foot down and decided not to eat it.

Most of the abuse and jokes about my not eating the sandwich are easily laughed off (I’m a big boy, and this is the life I’ve chosen), but yesterday one comment really bugged me:

“Zach, it’s just a damn sandwich! : ) All right. I’m going to get on my soapbox now. (Violins playing in background) I get the whole thing of not eating anything that’s less than delicious. But there is something a wee bit spoiled about refusing to eat something that’s probably not super yummy because it’s shrink-wrapped and it won’t be as heavenly as Panda Express (which still stumps me). Maybe it’s because I’ve been to a lot of third-world countries where a lot of the people don’t have this privilege of choosing what and where to eat. At the end of the day, it’s just nourishment. We’re lucky enough to be in a position where we can make choices. End soapbox. So, Zach, I really think you shouldn’t have chickened out on the bet. –Boo”

Really? That’s where you want to go with this? Midtown Lunch is more of a fun site, and doesn’t really ever get serious (mostly because I don’t think anybody wants to hear about my political or social views about anything, you just want to read about places to eat lunch), but this one I had to respond to.

The comment I posted in response to “Boo” is after the jump…

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“I have been reading your blog for a few years while working in midtown. The reason for your blog is justifiable since the food is so average at best and the pricing is just hilarious. Now that I am working in Jersey and eating great food again from real italian delis, crazy authentic korean restaurants, thai, getting real bagels for breakfast, etc i am going to stop reading your blog as it serves no purpose for me anymore accept to feel bad that you still have to resort to eating stuff like the above sandwiches for $10. It’s kind of pathetic. Brown bag it dude. Not to mention the cockroaches and rats in all of those establishments. -rocky”

That… uh… makes me feel really shitty. Wait! You know what… I’m not going to let this “rocky” get me down. FUCK… YOU… GUY. Let’s get one thing straight: Midtown lunching is like a family. It’s perfectly ok to bad mouth it (or call it a food wasteland), if you’re related by blood (or lunchtime misery.) You, however, now work in Jersey… so keep your damn opinions (and your “real Italian delis” and “crazy authentic restaurants”) to yourself!

Conveyor belt sushi… but not really.

Well this isn’t a good way to kick off your first week with a new conveyor belt:

“I went to Yushi (on 47th btw. Park+Lex) for lunch today and had to walk right out. Why? Because the food on the conveyor is now for display only. That’s right. You look at the food on the conveyor, call your waitress over, and ask for it. You’ll then get your plate delivered. What a novel idea! It’s almost like ordering a la carte, except not remotely as convenient. Here I was getting ready to blow my lunch budget bigtime on some much missed conveyor sushi. Please update the entry so as not to mislead any other midtownlunchers expecting real conveyor treats. -Francois”

If people wanted to order food off a menu they’d go to a regular sushi place! I contacted Yushi for a comment, and their response is after the jump.

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I try my best not to be too negative on this site, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to vent. Every once in awhile I’ll share some of the more angry useful emails I get in a post called “Airing of Grievances”. (If the Eater Complaints Dept. would like royalties, I’ll be happy to pay up…)

I have a ‘not really a lunchtime’ complaint but think you might be the best suited to help since its about a Midtown Lunch favorite. You see, I live on 53rd Street (btw. 6+7th Ave.) Yes… against generally considered good judgment some people do actually live there. Well the complaint is about the Famous 53rd Street Halal Guys cart. More specifically about their evening customers. The food is really good and I can’t fault them for their popularity. But the night customers are…well… pigs. Every morning when I take my pup out for his walk we have to maneuver through discarded chicken bones, whole platters of rice, tubs of that super hot hot sauce and most recently shards of broken glass bottles (not to mention the occasional pile of vomit … don’t ask why i know its related to the Famous 53rd St cart).

But wait… there’s more.

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A few weeks ago I posted a grievance sent in from a reader who wanted to complain about the salad at Flavors– a generic deli in the hallway beneath the Fox News building which may or may not be owned by Cafe Metro. Since then, it appears as if they have changed their policy… “Redemption song for flavors. I’m quite positive that the folks at flavors have read this grievance! I just got back from flavors and the salad was huge! not just mine but everyone around me as well. i think they’ve stepped up a notch because the salads taste great but now they are at a size worth its semi overpriced tag!”

Another luncher was quick to rebuke this shill enthusiastically delivered news by dropping a bit of science on me…

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All grievances are valid, even when they are aimed at yours truly…

Photo courtesy of Blondie and Brownie 

I was hoping that my post about not eating the sandwiches at Walgreens after being dared by a reader would elicit sympathy from the Midtown Lunch commenters… but clearly not. I thought turning my nose up at shrink wrapped sandwiches, shipped from Massachusetts to giant pharmacies would increase my cred- not destroy it!  Boy was I wrong…

You buy food from anonymous unlicensed people standing on the street selling shit illegally that they made in their home with no idea about the sanitation, storage, source ingredients or skill….people who just randomly show up on a sidewalk every now and then with a stack of styrofoam containers…..and you balk at sandwiches made by a company that is accountable to health inspectors and other governmental agencies, giant corporate customers (Walgreens in this case) not to mention shareholders/investors. ???????????? Obviously a company can screw up just as easily as an individual, but your risk/reward paradigm has gotten severely messed up. -Ben

Yes! Exactly! In fact, when you consider what the Government allows our corporations to get away with-and conversely, the hoops they force street vendors to jump through- I am much more comfortable eating street meat. Not to mention, I didn’t welsh on the dare because I was afraid of getting sick, I welshed because the sandwiches had no chance of being something Midtown Lunch readers would want to eat.

Or so I thought…

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