Walgreens Sandwich Dare: Am I Really Doing This?


Being a man of my word, I headed over to the new Walgreens in Times Square to try one of their *ahem* sandwiches.  Now, let me just say this: on the walk over there, a lot of thoughts went through my mind.  “How do I get out of this?” “I don’t really have to do this, do I?” ”There are good excuses I could make”  But I finally settled on this… I was going to do it.  Why not?  Sure, daring me to eat a sandwich at Walgreens is kind of against the spirit of my initial deal to eat anything in Midtown I was dared to eat… but that’s ok.  My stomach has been through worse… it could handle a crappy, pre-packaged deli sandwich from a pharmacy. Right?

That of course was before I knew what I was up against…

Let me just quick restate this… I WAS 100% GOING TO EAT ONE OF THESE SANDWICHES WHEN I STEPPED INTO THAT WALGREENS.  But what nobody told me was this… the sandwiches at Walgreens are not like the sandwiches at say a 7-11.  They aren’t made at Walgreens.  They aren’t even made *by* Walgreens at some centrally located Walgreens owned kitchen (which I’m assuming is how it works at 7-11.)  They’re made by a company called “Beantown”, and then vacuum packed in plastic, and placed in paper bags before being sold. Let me say this again… vacuum… packed… in… plastic.  These aren’t just pre-packaged crappy deli sandwiches.  These are cry-o-vac’d monstrosities that may or may not have been made weeks ago, before being sealed and maybe or maybe not shipped all the way from a place like Boston (that’s the only ‘Beantown’ I know.) 

Fuck that.  If you see something weird or gross, and think “gee, I wonder if that’s good. It may be disgusting, but it may be decent…” that’s the kind of thing you can dare me eat. $3 tripe from a cart.  Why not.  Banana sushi?  Bring it on.  (Hell, I even ate at Tad’s!) Seeing something you know is going to be gross, that you or I would never eat in a million years- well, daring me to eat that is just torture. And I will not submit myself to torture.  Cop out?  Maybe. But the grossness I consume on a daily basis, is reason enough for me to be mildly ashamed in front of my friends and family.  I’m not adding Walgreens to that list.

In other words, the line must be drawn somewhere… and I’m drawing it here. After all, if I submit myself to be dared to eat anything, then what’s next?  “Hey Zach, I took a dump in a bag, sealed it in plastic, and left it on the corner of 51st Street and 6th Ave.  I dare you to eat it.”  Actually, you know what… that might be more appetizing than these sandwiches. Do I like to eat poop?  No.  But if you held a gun to my head, and gave me a choice between the two, I’m just saying I wouldn’t automatically go for the Walgreens sandwich.


The $1 mini-bags of chocolate covered pretzels and butter toffee peanuts I spotted on my way out… now those are a different story.  (I couldn’t end the post with me saying I would eat a bag of poop, right?)


  • This is coming from someone who ate at Tad’s, Im little suprised Zach.

  • I need to add that to the post… thanks!

  • One on the Right…that looks like the steak you had @ Tad’s…i mean the Same exact steak.

  • Aww! Man@! You got me all excited, I was ready to comment wildly about how you should have gotten the egg salad with extra mayo and then this?? Nothing??

    I’m disappointed…. I may have to take on this challenge for you and throw in a side by side taste test with the 7-11 ones….. er…. maybe not…. got any strip clubs I can review instead?

  • @ Mamacita – Done and done! In fact, I dare anyone to eat one of these sandwiches, and then tell me I made the wrong decision.

  • Gay Superman woulda done it.

    Jason Perlow would of done it…..if only for the rapid weight loss that would of resulted.

  • does she have to eat the whole thing? They may need to keep the remainder for testing/evidence.

  • That’s so lame. Obviously someone eats those sandwiches, walgreens wouldn’t sell them if no-one at them. You’d eat at chicken house, the grimest place in midtown, and you get freaked out by a sterile sandwich? So lame. You’re going to have to go the extra mile and do something crazy to regain my respect. pffft.

  • Brownie: “Why are you eating THAT?”
    Me: “Zach told me to.”

    Post post-haste.

  • Zach, I always knew eventually something you shouldn’t eat, you wouldn’t eat. I am proud of you.

  • Wow, totally weak. Do the right thing and eat the sandwich.

  • I agree Bourbon. This is the weakest sauce I’ve ever seen on ML. Its a freaking sandwich. The brits eat sandwiches this way all the time. They sell them at gas stations. They taste fine. Is vacuum sealing toxic? You’re a big baby. I’ll eat 2 of those right now. Cake walk.

  • Zach, me and Blondie are going to grab one of these sandwiches, and go to an Irish Pub to down some whiskey to kill the germs.

  • If this is barely above gas station food, it’s about on par with the shit they serve in public schools. I bet a teenager would down three of these and make all you look like wimps. Fuck it- I’ll smoke a joint and show you guys how its done.

  • These are not above gas station food, they are below… gas station food has an expiration date maybe a few days out at most. These would survive a nuclear holocaust.

  • I have a bad *TWITCH* habit of breathing through my open mouth while sleeping, so given the fact that I live within DocChuck’s *TWITCH* wart-infested butthole, I do tend to eat more than my share of shit. Trust me, go with the sandwich. The big steakhouses charge extra for dry-aged steaks, right? Think of it *TWITCH* as getting dry-aged on the cheap. Oh, and lest I forget….I will gladly bite your nuts off. Especially McBeagles.

  • I am willing eat one of those sandwiches. I have seen people eat poop on a bet—this is not nearly as bad. If someone’s buying, I will do it…

  • I find it interesting that this is where you draw the line. I have to say that I think you made the right decision, and I think the reasoning is simple: Just isn’t worth it. A crappy sandwich is a crappy sandwich, regardless of the value. (Want a cheap sandwich? Make one at home.) With zero upside, there’s no reason to take the risk, perceived or otherwise. I think by not eating the sandwich you have in fact defended the integrity of Midtown Lunch.

  • You buy food from anonymous unlicensed people standing on the street selling shit illegally that they made in their home with no idea about the sanitation, storage, source ingredients or skill….people who just randomly show up on a sidewalk every now and then with a stack of styrofoam containers…..and you balk at sandwiches made by a company that is accountable to health inspectors and other governmental agencies, giant corporate customers (Walgreens in this case) not to mention shareholders/investors. ???????????? Obviously a company can screw up just as easily as an individual, but your risk/reward paradigm has gotten severely messed up.

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