Walgreens Sandwich Dare: Am I Really Doing This?

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Being a man of my word, I headed over to the new Walgreens in Times Square to try one of their *ahem* sandwiches.  Now, let me just say this: on the walk over there, a lot of thoughts went through my mind.  “How do I get out of this?” “I don’t really have to do this, do I?” “There are good excuses I could make”  But I finally settled on this… I was going to do it.  Why not?  Sure, daring me to eat a sandwich at Walgreens is kind of against the spirit of my initial deal to eat anything in Midtown I was dared to eat… but that’s ok.  My stomach has been through worse… it could handle a crappy, pre-packaged deli sandwich from a pharmacy. Right?

That of course was before I knew what I was up against…

Let me just quick restate this… I WAS 100% GOING TO EAT ONE OF THESE SANDWICHES WHEN I STEPPED INTO THAT WALGREENS.  But what nobody told me was this… the sandwiches at Walgreens are not like the sandwiches at say a 7-11.  They aren’t made at Walgreens.  They aren’t even made *by* Walgreens at some centrally located Walgreens owned kitchen (which I’m assuming is how it works at 7-11.)  They’re made by a company called “Beantown”, and then vacuum packed in plastic, and placed in paper bags before being sold. Let me say this again… vacuum… packed… in… plastic.  These aren’t just pre-packaged crappy deli sandwiches.  These are cry-o-vac’d monstrosities that may or may not have been made weeks ago, before being sealed and maybe or maybe not shipped all the way from a place like Boston (that’s the only ‘Beantown’ I know.) 

Fuck that.  If you see something weird or gross, and think “gee, I wonder if that’s good. It may be disgusting, but it may be decent…” that’s the kind of thing you can dare me eat. $3 tripe from a cart.  Why not.  Banana sushi?  Bring it on.  (Hell, I even ate at Tad’s!) Seeing something you know is going to be gross, that you or I would never eat in a million years- well, daring me to eat that is just torture. And I will not submit myself to torture.  Cop out?  Maybe. But the grossness I consume on a daily basis, is reason enough for me to be mildly ashamed in front of my friends and family.  I’m not adding Walgreens to that list.

In other words, the line must be drawn somewhere… and I’m drawing it here. After all, if I submit myself to be dared to eat anything, then what’s next?  “Hey Zach, I took a dump in a bag, sealed it in plastic, and left it on the corner of 51st Street and 6th Ave.  I dare you to eat it.”  Actually, you know what… that might be more appetizing than these sandwiches. Do I like to eat poop?  No.  But if you held a gun to my head, and gave me a choice between the two, I’m just saying I wouldn’t automatically go for the Walgreens sandwich.

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The $1 mini-bags of chocolate covered pretzels and butter toffee peanuts I spotted on my way out… now those are a different story.  (I couldn’t end the post with me saying I would eat a bag of poop, right?)

65 Comments

  • @Ben – Yes! Yes to all of it… that is exactly what I’m saying. In fact, I would say that is the whole premise of Midtown Lunch.

  • Please don’t tell me that as a drunk kid in your late teens/early 20s you didn’t go into 7-11 and eat the hot dog that had been rotating for months? We all did – it’s a rite of passage. This is much less harmful to your health. Take a few shots, get some courage, and eat a sandwich!

  • Great Post Zach.

    I think one of you midtowners needs to take the bullet for Zach, go out and eat one of these things and report back. I’d like to see a photo of the sandwich opened up too.. just out of curiosity :)

  • I lived on sandwiches from Tescos when I lived in Edinburgh for a year. I don’t know why, other than that they were cheap. But I would definitely say that, “The British do it all the time!” is definitely not an argument in favor of those sandwiches.

    Don’t do it. It’s not that you’re denying yourself a really crappy meal. It’s taht you’re denying yourself a meal with absolutely nothing to it. It’s possible to stay alive eating those sandwiches, but that’s about it. No real taste, no real benefit, nothing really even to say after you’ve had them other than, “Well, that wasn’t very good.”

  • I think your credibility is worth more than a potential case of food poisoning or death.

  • i was a pledge at a fraternity at Univ of Michigan…needless to say, i have eaten much worse. just name which one you want to see eaten.

  • if you get sick from it, you can use it for a ton of good pr just like the d-bag, i mean the feedbag, josh ozersky is doing with his gout http://www.the-feedbag.com/

  • come on, zach, they’re affiliated with slush puppies….how bad could it be?!

    http://www.garberbros.com/programs.cfm

    besides, they claim that they have the “taste to keep customers coming back for more!”

  • I’m outta town for a couple of days, but when I return I will definitely buy and eat 1-2 of these sandwiches, and report back.

  • I have to say…I’m a little disappointed, Zach.

  • Napoleon… Waterloo

    Zimmern …. Durian

    Brooks …. Walgreen’s

    You stand amongst legends Zach … judged only by history

  • I am waiting for when I can call Dominos and get some oven baked sandwiches to feed the fat hole in DocChuck’s face. You ever see what this giant assed mofo will eat? How about someone try those out? I think having sandwiches at Walgreen’s is great thinking. When I pick up the Viagara and large cocktail of medications for the Chuckster I can grab some meaty sandwiches to slide under the door. You got to move quick you could lose your whole hand.

  • I’d eat those sandwiches. But you eat a lot of places I wouldn’t like Tad’s or street food.

    Not sure what this means?

  • I’ll eat five of those right now. I love those things. Why does anyone think that going to a deli and talking a to an inept, harried, rude person behind a counter to get an overpriced sandwich produces better quality food?

  • For 3.99 I’d eat one. I think it does go against Midtown Lunch’s premise that you won’t try it… I mean isn’t it to try new foods that are cheap that will have readers making it a regular place? Hell if it’s half way decent I might just go again in these dire of times.

  • “The British do it all the time!”

    That’s what i hear from Rudy!

  • I’ve had the mayonnaise on bread they call sandwiches from Tesco in Britain. They are not.

  • Mama!!!!

    We invented the Sarnie/Butty.

    Although i have seen similar products as above at outlets in Kingscross Station.And i do get a Tuna on wholewheat from the Pret girl once a week,but thats more to do with the Tyler type looks than the said sarnie.

  • well my problem with this is that you didn’t eat the sandwich b/c you thought you would get sick… if you didn’t eat it out of the principles of midtown lunch that would be different – i’d totally support you if it was the latter, but since it was the former, i will join the disappointed group on this one

  • @Will – where does it say I was afraid of getting sick? i wasn’t afraid of that… it was on principle.

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