Walgreens Sandwich Dare: Am I Really Doing This?

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Being a man of my word, I headed over to the new Walgreens in Times Square to try one of their *ahem* sandwiches.  Now, let me just say this: on the walk over there, a lot of thoughts went through my mind.  “How do I get out of this?” “I don’t really have to do this, do I?” “There are good excuses I could make”  But I finally settled on this… I was going to do it.  Why not?  Sure, daring me to eat a sandwich at Walgreens is kind of against the spirit of my initial deal to eat anything in Midtown I was dared to eat… but that’s ok.  My stomach has been through worse… it could handle a crappy, pre-packaged deli sandwich from a pharmacy. Right?

That of course was before I knew what I was up against…

Let me just quick restate this… I WAS 100% GOING TO EAT ONE OF THESE SANDWICHES WHEN I STEPPED INTO THAT WALGREENS.  But what nobody told me was this… the sandwiches at Walgreens are not like the sandwiches at say a 7-11.  They aren’t made at Walgreens.  They aren’t even made *by* Walgreens at some centrally located Walgreens owned kitchen (which I’m assuming is how it works at 7-11.)  They’re made by a company called “Beantown”, and then vacuum packed in plastic, and placed in paper bags before being sold. Let me say this again… vacuum… packed… in… plastic.  These aren’t just pre-packaged crappy deli sandwiches.  These are cry-o-vac’d monstrosities that may or may not have been made weeks ago, before being sealed and maybe or maybe not shipped all the way from a place like Boston (that’s the only ‘Beantown’ I know.) 

Fuck that.  If you see something weird or gross, and think “gee, I wonder if that’s good. It may be disgusting, but it may be decent…” that’s the kind of thing you can dare me eat. $3 tripe from a cart.  Why not.  Banana sushi?  Bring it on.  (Hell, I even ate at Tad’s!) Seeing something you know is going to be gross, that you or I would never eat in a million years- well, daring me to eat that is just torture. And I will not submit myself to torture.  Cop out?  Maybe. But the grossness I consume on a daily basis, is reason enough for me to be mildly ashamed in front of my friends and family.  I’m not adding Walgreens to that list.

In other words, the line must be drawn somewhere… and I’m drawing it here. After all, if I submit myself to be dared to eat anything, then what’s next?  “Hey Zach, I took a dump in a bag, sealed it in plastic, and left it on the corner of 51st Street and 6th Ave.  I dare you to eat it.”  Actually, you know what… that might be more appetizing than these sandwiches. Do I like to eat poop?  No.  But if you held a gun to my head, and gave me a choice between the two, I’m just saying I wouldn’t automatically go for the Walgreens sandwich.

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The $1 mini-bags of chocolate covered pretzels and butter toffee peanuts I spotted on my way out… now those are a different story.  (I couldn’t end the post with me saying I would eat a bag of poop, right?)

65 Comments

  • Zach has principles?

  • @Mamacita: Email me a time. I’ve put much worse in my body than this.

  • Blondie, there’s a line there…but im far too much of a gentleman….

    I’ll leave it to Wayne.

  • My dear wife’s first caberet act was as “Divine.” She had been decamping with a group of transsexuals (please do not ask why … we were experiencing a “rough patch” in our relationship) who convinced her it would be a good idea. Well, she agreed (during a moment of white zin-fueled weakness) and they found her a tightfitting leopard dress like “Divine” wore in Female Trouble (she still wears that dress it on occasion today!). Long story short, they insisted that the show conclude dramatically with my wife eating a handful of dog turds (apparantly “Divine” enjoyed doing this, which may be why she died at such an early age). Being young and impressionable, my wife agreed, thinking that she would be consuming the real thing. In the end, though, her friends supplied her with tootsie rolls !! Which is probably a good thing, as she had seen her share of parasites, having operated a commercial kennel for years.

    The lesson for you here, Zach, is that if my wife was willing to eat dog turds to further her career, the least you can do to further yours is eat a $4 sandwich from a drugstore. Please make sure you eat it IN the Walgreens, as they have antibiotics on hand there.

    Good luck young man.

    Cheers,
    Chuck

  • I have a feeling there’s going to be a long line of true believers at Walgreen’s today.

    See you there around 1:00.

    And see you at New York Presbyterian around 5:00.

  • Please send photos! I can’t wait to be vindicated…

    “Overheard in New York” today at Walgreens: “Wow, there really is no reason to eat these sandwiches.”

    Wait until you see the shrink wrap… it’s just weird. Without the shrink wrap, I would have eaten one.

  • The shrink wrap makes me feel yucky inside. Zach has a lot to live for, people! Although I’m fairly certain you wouldn’t get sick, you probably wouldn’t be all that pleased with the result anyway. Shots afterwards necessary to cleanse your mouth of that taste.
    I got your back, Zach. Haha… that reminds me of that Saved by the Bell episode where Zack runs for president and Max (of The Max) has an apron that says “I back Zack” …

  • WTF! You’d think this was a shock TV stunt/dare. Have a bite or two of the sandwich and review. Don’t be a fucking pussy or I will stop commenting in the “your comment” box.. amen

  • ~Hungry Bitch~

    LMFAO.

  • I’d gladly eat this and post photos, but there’s no walgreens downtown. Anyway, I’m full from my incredible, can’t beat it toasty, large $4.33 prime rib and peppercorn sandwich from Quiznos. Has to be the best deal ever! MMMM toasty.

  • The Walgreens Double Cheeseburger Bulkie was maybe the worst thing I’ve ever eaten. The Turkey + Cheese Sub was actually not that bad:

    http://www.winedanddined.com/2009/01/walgreens-midtown-lunch-dare/

  • Fantastic job, Wined & Dined! The turkey sub looks much better than the infamous Continental Airlines turkey sub which I’ve been on the wrong end of more than once. Hats off to you for going for the most challenging entree – the Bulkie.

  • @ Cosilicious – now that you mention it, the turkey & sub tastes exactly like one of those pre-made sandwiches you get on an airline. good call.

  • Wined & Dined = Awesome

  • W&D , clicked on your link.

    You Sir are a food hero.Unlike the above mentioned Brooks;whom seems to of gone somewhat gay.

  • W&D,

    You’re good ppl by me. That turkey sub doesn’t look bad at all. And for 4 bucks, that’s a steal. The burger looks weak, and I know you only bought it for shock value, but a job well done. We can chill anytime. You’ve got yourself a new fan.

    Zach, you are on thin ice. Step up to the challenge and reclaim some dignity.

    When I first saw this site, you totally transformed the way I think about midtwon lunch. I never once tried Street Meat and now I eat it 2-3 days a week. Biryani Kart and Kwik Meal are my favorite places to eat. I get Indian buffet and food from a news stand because you told me to. There were two mottos: lunch under $10 and have an open mind.

    Restore our faith in you and eat a sandwich. Please, for the sake of midtown-lunchers everywhere. I’ll gladly come with you for moral support if you want.

    Sincerely,
    DougieC

  • Thanks for the kind words Dougiec. I’m still tasting that double cheeseburger. It was abso-f’in-lutely disgusting. I’m scared to google what some of those chemicals are on the ingredients list. My wife just told me I’m sleeping on the couch…oh well, it was worth it.

  • Upon closer inspection they look no worse than what you would get at 7-11 and they do have an expiration date (they’re only good for 3 days according to the wrapper). Not that scary and not that big a deal.

    Weak.

  • Dude, those things were frightening. I’m going to have nightmares.

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