Midtown Lunch

The final chance to qualify for the Go Go Curry Eating Championship is this Wednesday from 6 to 8pm (on 38th btw. 7+8th), but if you don’t think you can eat 2 small orders of curry over rice in under 73 seconds- don’t bother.  The top 5 qualifying times advance to the finals (which are scheduled for May 30th) and right now according to the official Go Go Curry website the fifth place qualifying time is 1 minute and 13 seconds (although Lunch’er Eric checked in to say that he and another eater eater broke the 1:08 barrier, but haven’t been added to the list yet. So really you’ve gotta be around 60 seconds to make it.)

But then, even if you do qualify, you’ll run smack into 3 (possibly) professional eaters.  Don “Moses” Lerman was the first pro-eater to enter– throwing down a 1:00 prelim score which was quickly destroyed by “Gentleman” Joe Menchetti (also a pro eater, of sorts.)  Now we’re hearing that Dale “Mouth of the South” Boone will try and qualify on May 20th.

None of these guys are members of the IFOCE (the official pro eating organization that runs the Nathan’s Hot Dog Eating thing on July 4th) because they don’t allow participation in unsanctioned events like this… but they are all experienced competitive eaters. I don’t know anything about this stuff, so I checked in with Crazy Legs Conti, the official Midtown Lunch expert on all things competitive eating.

His thoughts on Joe, Don, Dale, has-beens, hobbyists, picnickers, and The Godfather are after the jump.

Gentleman Joe Menchetti was thrown out of the big leagues years ago, tried to remake his outfit and moniker as “Eatmieser” with an Orange Wig and a Rankin Bass walk, and has been bouncing around independently for years. His ego is as swollen as his stomach, but he probably went for curry just because he loves to embarrass Don. They still argue over a wing eating contest from almost a decade ago. Don has been eating with no teeth for two weeks, but I believe is getting some dentures in soon. His mouth is the Micheal Corleone of Competitive Eating, “every time he thinks they are out, they put them back in”.

Gentleman Joe would be Frankie Pentangeli in the metaphor…The Old Man had too much Curry, sort of thing. Gentleman Joe often claims he is not a pro because he doesn’t get paid (that’s his way around sponsors who want to disallow pros) but he has made some prize money, BBQs, TVs, and probably a garage worth of crappy prizes and coupons.

Dale “Buffoon” Boone is a sprinter. When he hits his capacity, which will happen quickly, tell the front row of spectators that its gonna be like Shamu at Seaworld. Perhaps, they should wear an Major League Eating poncho – both for protection against Dale’s hair trigger epiglottis and validation that there is one, and only one, competitive eating league. And Dale’s not in it.

As much as I love John Havilcheck, I always hated seeing him play in the NBA old timers game. There’s nothing less distinguished than a 60 year old wrapped in ace bandages and short shorts trying to dribble. Eating wise, you’re going to see a lot of dribbling and a lot of kids checking the back of their pro-eating trading cards (oversized of course). “That guy’s still alive? I thought he lost in a cherry eating contest to George Washington”. The competitive eating road is littered with the deflated stomachs of has-beens, hobbyists, picnickers, and casual diners.

Related:
Go Go Curry Launches Annual Eating Competition
Amateurs Complain That Pro Eater is Ruining Go Go Curry Contest
All Go Go Curry Posts on Midtown Lunch