Midtown Lunch

I try to be positive here on Midtown Lunch… and I freakin’ love this city.  The food is amazing, and there’s no better place to be a “Midtown Lunch’er”.    But as much as I love much of the food in L.A. (and will defend it to the death against any outsiders, ornatives with an inferiority complex) there are some things about lunching in this town that really annoy me.  Here are 7 of them, LAist style, for your enjoyment…

1.  Alright Mendocino Farms… we gave you a bit of leeway when you called your admittedly delicious pork belly sandwich a banh mi.  But a cuban sandwich should probably not be on the same bread as your shrimp po’boy, or at the very least it should be pressed.  You have a panini press, use it.  That being said, adding plantain chips on top of the sandwich is genius.  Oh, we can’t stay at mad you Mendocino Farms!

2. Prediction: When the Los Angeles branch of Eataly finally opens, bloggers who get to eat there for free will love it.  Those who have to pay will be slightly less enthusiastic.

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I try to be positive here on Midtown Lunch… and I freakin’ love this city.  The food is amazing, and there’s no better place to be a “Midtown Lunch’er”.    But as much as I love much of the food in L.A. (and will defend it to the death against any outsiders, ornatives with an inferiority complex) there are some things about lunching in this town that really annoy me.  Here are 7 of them, LAist style, for your enjoyment…

1.  Man, I really wish Momed was cheaper.  Duck shawarma sandwich? Sooooo good!  Why can’t you be $10 little friend?

2. Why does anybody bother serving pastrami sandwiches within a 5 mile radius of Langer’s?  Especially one that costs $14 and looks like this. Really, what’s the point? Also, in a related story: dividing your menu into 3 sections and having cute little open prep stations doesn’t make you a food court.  You’re just a regular old restaurant with waiters, and a menu that happens to feature good burgers, hipster deli food, and meat curated by a kick ass chef from San Francisco. Please tell the press to stop describing you as a mini version of Eataly West.

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I try to be positive here on Midtown Lunch… and I freakin’ love this city.  The food is amazing, and there’s no better place to be a “Midtown Lunch’er”.    But as much as I love most of the food in L.A. (and will defend it to the death against any outsiders, or natives with an inferiority complex) there are some things about lunching in this town that really annoy me.  Here are 7 of them, LAist style, for your enjoyment…

1. So your orange peel chicken and honey glazed shrimp (aka slippery shrimp) are the best of all time?  Ok… you’ve got my attention.  They’re $14 and $15 respectively?  Uh… ok… but how much is the lunch special version?  THERE ISN’T A LUNCH SPECIAL VERSION!?!?  I’ve never heard of such a thing. You are a Chinese food restaurant, right?   There must be some sort of General Tso’s chicken treaty that this violates…

2. Speaking of “Chinese” food, New York is getting a branch of Mission Chinese Food before we do?  That is beyond f’d up.  These people know that L.A. is only 400 miles away from S.F. right?  So much for the whole”local” thing.

$13 street food, inexplicably popular sandwiches, Sunny Spot, and more feel my wrath after the jump…

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I try to be positive here on Midtown Lunch… and I freakin’ love this city.  The food is amazing, and there’s no better place to be a “Midtown Lunch’er”.    But as much as I love most of the food in L.A. (and will defend it to the death against any outsiders, or natives with an inferiority complex) there are some things about lunching in this town that really annoy me.  Here are 7 of them, LAist style, for your enjoyment…

1. Delicious $12 Peruvian masterpieces are too expensive for this location.  But $12 sandwiches? A-ok.

2.  On a related note, Flanders Frites!  Poor poor Flanders Frites. It’s bad enough Chimu got replaced by Local Express.  But the addition of Flanders Frites is just that extra kick in the nuts, right after you just told me my Grandmother died. I could probably do a whole 7 things just on Flanders Frites… but I guess I can just settle for 2. First: if you are going to open a window dedicated exclusively to 3 things, you might want to make sure those three things actually taste good.  Serving ordinary shoestring fries and trying to pass them off as cutesy Belgian “patat” is one thing, but deep frying bland dog food and selling it for $4.50 as a kroket is shameful. I wouldn’t have eaten these things if they were free at my cousin’s Bar Mitzvah (and I’ll normally eat *anything* fried at a cousin’s Bar Mitzvah.)  The fries make a decent side dish to a Local Express sandwich, but who on earth is giving this place 4 stars on Yelp?

But wait… there’s more. Ludo, babies, and bacos feel my wrath after the jump.

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I try to be positive here on Midtown Lunch… and I freakin’ love this city.  The food is amazing, and there’s no better place to be a “Midtown Lunch’er”.    But as much as I love most of the food in L.A. (and will defend it to the death against any outsiders, or natives with an inferiority complex) there are some things about lunching in this town that really annoy me.  Here are 7 of them, LAist style, for your enjoyment…

Sauteed Blood Sausage ($19) from Jang Tou Bossam

1. Why doesn’t anybody serve a version of soondae bookum that serves one and is under $10? I’m fat, but not that fat.

2. Squash blossom tempura stuffed with spicy tuna and drizzled with honey sounds like it would be awesome, right?  It’s not.

3.  It shouldn’t take 6 months to open an all you can eat buffet! Fatsos like me are going to come whether its good or not.  Just throw a bunch of shit into metal steamer trays, set up a couple of tables (or not) and we will come.   Did you see the lunchtime crowd at that newish Chinese bufffet in Hollywood?  It’s not rocket science. I’m hungry. Do it. Doooooo it.

Black wieners, banh mi, and more after the jump…

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I try to be positive here on Midtown Lunch… and I freakin’ love this city.  The food is amazing, and there’s no better place to be a “Midtown Lunch’er”.    But as much as I love much of the food in L.A. (and will defend it to the death against any outsiders, or natives with an inferiority complex) there are some things about eating lunch in this town that really annoy me.  Here are 7 of them, LAist style, for your enjoyment…

1. Oh Los Angeles, sometimes the things you flock to in droves are so silly.  If I cut a baked potato into strips, it doesn’t make it french fries.  It’s just cake people.  Maybe it’s the best cake ever made, but it ain’t doughnuts. And people should not be this excited about this in THE GREATEST DOUGHNUT CITY IN THE WORLD!  The biggest irony? (Besides the fact that the calorie info on these things will likely make you throw up the 4 fonuts you ate this morning.) It’s replacing a shop that failed selling bundt cakes, which are… wait for it… baked cakes cut into the shape of a doughnut!  Huzzah for brilliant marketing.

2. If the word lunch is permanently painted on your window, you should probably be open for lunch more than just Saturdays and Sundays!  BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

3. Amazing restaurant and dishes I wish were just a little bit cheaper so that they could be considered “Midtown Lunches”.  I’m looking at you Lukshon’s new lunch menu, galbi jim from Seongbukdong, Sotto, and Cube LA.  What’s more important to you guys?!  Staying in business or pleasing cheap bastards who don’t appreciate the value of superior product.  On second thought, don’t answer that.

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I try to be positive here on Midtown Lunch… and I freakin’ love this city.  The food is amazing, and there’s no better place to be a “Midtown Lunch’er”.    But as much as I love much of the food in L.A. (and will defend it to the death against any outsiders, or natives with an inferiority complex) there are some things about eating lunch in this town that really annoy me.  Here are 7 of them, LAist style, for your enjoyment…

1. I really can’t stand the word clean. For example when somebody says “I like California Chicken Kitchen because it’s good clean food” that’s the kiss of death for me. But using it on a food truck? That’s taking it to a new low. Implying that street food is usually dirty as your selling point is not only dumb and tells us nothing about your truck, but it doesn’t help the industry you just became a part of.

2. Boiling Crab… why are you not open for lunch!?!? This makes me very mad!

3. “Best Fish Taco” in Los Feliz might want to consider a name change now that the actual best fish tacos in all of Los Angeles can be found right down the street.

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