7 Reasons to Hate L.A. (Lunching, That Is)
I try to be positive here on Midtown Lunch… and I freakin’ love this city. The food is amazing, and there’s no better place to be a “Midtown Lunch’er”. But as much as I love much of the food in L.A. (and will defend it to the death against any outsiders, or natives with an inferiority complex) there are some things about eating lunch in this town that really annoy me. Here are 7 of them, LAist style, for your enjoyment…
1. Oh Los Angeles, sometimes the things you flock to in droves are so silly. If I cut a baked potato into strips, it doesn’t make it french fries. It’s just cake people. Maybe it’s the best cake ever made, but it ain’t doughnuts. And people should not be this excited about this in THE GREATEST DOUGHNUT CITY IN THE WORLD! The biggest irony? (Besides the fact that the calorie info on these things will likely make you throw up the 4 fonuts you ate this morning.) It’s replacing a shop that failed selling bundt cakes, which are… wait for it… baked cakes cut into the shape of a doughnut! Huzzah for brilliant marketing.
2. If the word lunch is permanently painted on your window, you should probably be open for lunch more than just Saturdays and Sundays! BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
3. Amazing restaurant and dishes I wish were just a little bit cheaper so that they could be considered “Midtown Lunches”. I’m looking at you Lukshon’s new lunch menu, galbi jim from Seongbukdong, Sotto, and Cube LA. What’s more important to you guys?! Staying in business or pleasing cheap bastards who don’t appreciate the value of superior product. On second thought, don’t answer that.
4. Urgh. Can we stop this nonsense already? If names like this make you excited to eat, I have a food truck I want to sell you.
5. Speaking of food trucks… if I’m super excited about trying a new food truck, it shouldn’t be this hard to find a day when you’re serving lunch somewhere near where I am! Only serving lunch to the public two days this week? You don’t update your weekly calendar until Thursday morning!? Regulations aren’t going to be the death of food trucks. Not being able to depend on a particular truck being in a particular location on a particular day is going to be what kills this trend. I want Patacon pisao! Don’t make me work for it…
6. If you’re Korean and thinking of opening a Texas style BBQ place in Koreatown, know that BBQ lovers are already going to be skeptical. Your sausage can be amazing, your homemade BBQ sauce can be delicious, but if you don’t know that brisket needs to be cut against the grain you’re probably not going to last very long.
7. Giving people lime and hot sauce doesn’t get let you off the “If I’m selling something it should have flavor” hook. Looks good, right? Tasted like nothing. Bland ceviche sellers of Los Angeles, go try Mariscos Chente, Cevicheria or Mariscos Jalisco and take notes.
View previous “7 Reasons to Hate L.A. Lunching”.