Archive for '7 Reasons to Hate L.A.'

7 Reasons to Hate L.A. Lunching (The “Salad Week is Over” Edition)

I try to be positive here on Midtown Lunch… and I love this city.  The food is amazing, and there’s no better place to be a “Midtown Lunch’er”.    But as much as I love most of the food in L.A. (and will defend it to the death against any outsiders, or natives with an inferiority complex) there are some things about lunching in this town that really annoy me.  Here are 7 of them, LAist style, for your enjoyment…

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All salads should have this ratio of crunchy things to lettuce

1. So, in case using the words “toothsome” and “mouthfeel” didn’t clue you in, there isn’t actually a Salad Week 2014. It was just an April Fools Day joke. But if there was a Salad Week on this site it would probably be our biggest week of traffic of all time.  This is L.A. after all.  That makes me sad… but not as sad as eating a boring salad for lunch.

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2. It is undeniable that Pa Ord’s expansion west to La Brea was a good thing for Thai food lovers who live west of Thai Town.  But we are quickly discovering that not all Pa Ord’s are created equal.  In other words, the ghost of Thai Foon still lives inside Pa Ord #2.  The good news is, you can get crispy pork and chinese broccoli as a lunch special!  The bad news?  That spring roll you get free with your lunch is as terrible as it ever was.  Unless you live in the hood and are ordering delivery, it’s probably worth just driving the extra 2 miles East to Pa Ord #1 or Pa Ord #3 (which, funny enough, might actually be an improvement on the original thanks to the ghost of Ganda!)

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7 Reasons to Hate L.A. Lunching (The “Irv’s Burgers” Edition)

I try to be positive here on Midtown Lunch… and I love this city.  The food is amazing, and there’s no better place to be a “Midtown Lunch’er”.    But as much as I love most of the food in L.A. (and will defend it to the death against any outsiders, or natives with an inferiority complex) there are some things about lunching in this town that really annoy me.  Here are 7 of them, LAist style, for your enjoyment…

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1. If two slices of your cheese pizza and a fountain soda costs $9 at lunchtime you are never allowed to be compared to New York pizza in a favorable way. Sorry Vito’s, but it’s time for a lunch special.

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2. I’m all for the explosion of gourmet coffee shops in Los Angeles, but can we return ice coffee to where it belongs?  In a plastic cup with a lid and a straw. I shouldn’t need a funnel to add milk to my ice coffee.

But wait… there’s more.  (5 more, to be exact.)

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7 Reasons to Hate L.A. Lunching (The “Most Controversial Thing You’ve Ever Read About Doughnuts” Edition)

I try to be positive here on Midtown Lunch… and I freakin’ love this city.  The food is amazing, and there’s no better place to be a “Midtown Lunch’er”.    But as much as I love most of the food in L.A. (and will defend it to the death against any outsiders, or natives with an inferiority complex) there are some things about lunching in this town that really annoy me.  Here are 7 of them, LAist style, for your enjoyment…

1. There is so much about this photo that gets me super excited.  Finding a gang that I would truly want to be a member of?  Check. All you can eat? Check. Under $10?  Check!  The bad news?  The “order whatever you want off the menu (minus seafood dishes) for just $9.99” doesn’t start until 3pm.  Is it too late to get my dues back?

2. Is there some kind of electromagnetic field that exists between Downtown and Santa Monica that makes it impossible for Vietnamese restaurants to do the simplest things right. I can spot at least 5 things wrong with this bún.  Can you?  (Spoiler: it’s not the spring rolls.  They’re actually the best part about this new place…)

More haterade, plus the most controversial thing you’ve ever read about doughnuts, is after the jump…

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7 Reasons to Hate L.A. Lunching (The Chinese Food & Chego Edition)

I try to be positive here on Midtown Lunch… and I freakin’ love this city.  The food is amazing, and there’s no better place to be a “Midtown Lunch’er”.    But as much as I love most of the food in L.A. (and will defend it to the death against any outsiders, or natives with an inferiority complex) there are some things about lunching in this town that really annoy me.  Here are 7 of them, LAist style, for your enjoyment…

 The Beef Roll from 101 Noodle Express in the Fox Hills Mall

1. You’re not allowed to complain about there being no good chinese food on the westside unless you eat at 101 Noodle Express in the Fox Hills Mall Westfield Culver City at least once a month. Your indifference already killed Kyochon. Please don’t let it happen again. Oh- and don’t give me this “It’s not as good as the one in SGV!” bullshit.  This is why we can never have nice things, westside.

2. Speaking of the westside… I know it was you Chego.  You broke my heart.  You broke my heart.

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The Fox Hills Mall Kyochon Has Closed (And 6 Other Reasons to Hate L.A. Lunch’ing)

I try to be positive here on Midtown Lunch… and I freakin’ love this city.  The food is amazing, and there’s no better place to be a “Midtown Lunch’er”.    But as much as I love most of the food in L.A. (and will defend it to the death against any outsiders, or natives with an inferiority complex) there are some things about lunching in this town that really annoy me.  Here are 7 of them, LAist style, for your enjoyment…

In a terrible blow to Food Court fans and Westside Korean fried chicken lovers, the Kyochon in the Fox Hills Mall Food Court has closed.  As a food court fanatic and Korean fried chicken fan who lives on the westside, it’s a double blow.  It’s hard to believe that, with all the complaining people do about the lack of authentic Asian food on the Westside, Kyochon couldn’t survive.  What’s even more upsetting is the realization that if Kyochon couldn’t make it, what chance does 101 Noodle Express have.  And, really, what chance does any great food court in L.A. have.  Fox Hills Mall was supposed to be that beacon of light, showing the path to other crappy mall food courts (I’m looking at you Beverly Center.)  It’s enough to set a guy off…

6 more things I hate about L.A. right now, are after the jump.

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7 Reasons to Hate L.A. Lunching: The Crispy Meats Edition

I try to be positive here on Midtown Lunch… and I freakin’ love this city.  The food is amazing, and there’s no better place to be a “Midtown Lunch’er”.    But as much as I love much of the food in L.A. (and will defend it to the death against any outsiders, ornatives with an inferiority complex) there are some things about lunching in this town that really annoy me.  Here are 7 of them, LAist style, for your enjoyment…

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Chinese Chicken Salad, topped w/ “Rotisserie Chicken”

1. If you remove the skin, can you still call something rotisserie chicken on your menu? I say, definitively no. I mean, what’s next? Icing-less birthday cake?  You know what, forget I said that Los Angeles.

2. For some reason Bottega Louie decided not make pumpkin macarons this fall.  First monkey bread, now this.  Is there some unwritten rule at BL to get rid of everybody’s favorite pastries?

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7 Reasons to Hate L.A. Lunching (The “Salad Pizza” Edition)

I try to be positive here on Midtown Lunch… and I freakin’ love this city.  The food is amazing, and there’s no better place to be a “Midtown Lunch’er”.    But as much as I love much of the food in L.A. (and will defend it to the death against any outsiders, ornatives with an inferiority complex) there are some things about lunching in this town that really annoy me.  Here are 7 of them, LAist style, for your enjoyment…

1. First bagel pizza, now this. You’re not fooling anybody Abbot’s.  The saddest thing is, if I was going to eat a salad I would want it to be served on top of cheese covered baked dough.  Does that make this genius?  I don’t even want to think about it…

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2.  If nobody is allowed to serve a $14 pastrami sandwich within 2 miles of Langer’s, than fair is fair.  Nobody is allowed to open a ramen/tsukemen combo within two miles of Tsujita.

3. Ink.sack has a bread-less sandwich option!?  Et tu, Michael Voltaggio?

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