Midtown Lunch

I try to be positive here on Midtown Lunch… and I freakin’ love this city.  The food is amazing, and there’s no better place to be a “Midtown Lunch’er”.    But as much as I love much of the food in L.A. (and will defend it to the death against any outsiders, or natives with an inferiority complex) there are some things about eating lunch in this town that really annoy me.  Here are 7 of them, LAist style, for your enjoyment…

1. No lard!?  You are a Mexican restaurant.  In what crazy pants world is “no lard” a selling point?

2. Don’t celebs eat Midtown Lunches?   Or, do the good cheap ethnic spots in L.A. just not have PR people to spread the word.  Just once I’d like to see something like “Paris Hilton spotted eating brain sandwich at Attari in Westwood.”

3. Why do so many all you can eat Korean BBQ places not allow for parties of 1?  (Or, they allow it, but then charge solo diners double.)  It makes no sense. It is my god given right to stuff my face alone- and lord knows I’ve done it on a number of occasions. Is it because lonely people eat more, and they’re afraid of being put out of business by a influx of friendless fatsos?

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I try to be positive here on Midtown Lunch… and I freakin’ love this city.  The food is amazing, and there’s no better place to be a “Midtown Lunch’er”.    But as much as I love much of the food in L.A. (and will defend it to the death against any outsiders, or natives with an inferiority complex) there are some things about lunching in this town that really annoy me.  Here are 7 of them, LAist style, for your enjoyment…

1. Am I crazy for thinking that if you name your restaurant Potato Chips, you should probably make your own potato chips?  A much better name for this place would be Meatball Sandwich- because they actually make a good meatball sandwich.  (It might not be worth $10, and you’ll need a ton of napkins to sop up the mess, but it’s far more interesting than their bagged potato chips.  Just sayin’.)

2. What’s worse?  The Asian restaurant that refuses to give people forks unless they ask (and then openly looks down on those who want one.)  Or the Korean/Chinese restaurant where, the other day, every single employee who walked by the table offered me a fork-you know- because white people in L.A. don’t know how to use to chopsticks…? (I think I prefer the former.)

3. Seeing as how I actively promote eating lunch out every single day of the week, it naturally bothers me that so many places are closed for lunch on Mondays (I’m looking at you Huckleberry and Attari!)  Fine.  I get it.  Mondays are the slowest day of the week. People ate a lot over the weekend. Maybe they bring their lunch on Mondays, or starve themselves. Restaurants need a day off.  Whatever.  But Tuesday?  Why are you closed on Tuesdays!? (Salt’s Cure, you screwed me real good!)  And Wednesdays?  There’s really no excuse for being closed on hump day. (If you haven’t been burned by Sapp Coffee Shop at least once, you’re not going enough!)

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I try to be positive here on Midtown Lunch… and I freakin’ love this city.  The food is amazing, and there’s no better place to be a “Midtown Lunch’er”.    But as much as I love much of the food in L.A. (and will defend it to the death against any outsiders, or natives with an inferiority complex) there are some things about lunching in this town that really piss me off. (And more often than not it’s not the food but the people eating it… or not eating it, as is often the case here.) Here are 7 of them, LAist style, for your enjoyment…

This is not an acceptable order at Langer’s. Photo courtesy of Noah Galuten.

1. Last month I had my first Langer’s experience… you know… the place where nobody orders anything but meat.  And one of our friends actually ordered a salad.  Really?  Really.

2. Magnolia Bakery is now in Los Angeles, and people seem very excited. Feast NY says “you’re welcome Los Angeles”. I say “thanks, but no thanks.”  Sure, their banana pudding is amazing (you might say the secret ingredient is Jello-O instant pudding mix and Nilla wafers) but the cupcakes? Nobody who lives in New York thinks Magnolia makes a great cupcake.  It didn’t even make Serious Eats’ Top 12.

3. On my way to the Counter last month I ran into a friend on the street, who excitedly recommended I try their burger without the bun.  Uh… I’m sorry.  Leaving bread off a dish is not an awesome “tip”.  That’s a lifestyle choice (and a poor one at that) not an improvement (although shockingly Chef Ludo does it.)   Funniest part of the exchange? She immediately followed her breadless two cents by telling me I have to try their milkshake!  That’s fucked up L.A. logic for you…

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I try to be positive here on Midtown Lunch… and I freakin’ love this city.  The food is amazing, and there’s no better place to be a “Midtown Lunch’er”.    But as much as I love much of the food in L.A. (and will defend it to the death against any outsiders, or natives with an inferiority complex) there are some things about lunching in this town that really piss me off. (And more often than not it’s not the food but the people eating it… or not eating it, as is often the case here.) Here are 7 of them, LAist style, for your enjoyment…

1. People who get excited about a place where you have to pay by the pound. I love buffets, but pay by the pound? It’s like a tax that takes advantage of fat people. You put me in front of a buffet, and I can’t be held responsible for what happens next. Putting my plate on a scale after I ravage the steam tables? That’s just cruel. Thankfully yogurt and candy don’t weigh a lot- so my few trips to Yogurtland have been relatively cheap. But Brazilian meats? At $10 a pound? Even my guide to beating the by the pound buffets isn’t going to work in that situation (especially when the place charges you more for taking *all* meat.)

2. Seeing a guy walk by Capriotti’s Sandwich Shop in Beverly Hills with a bag from Subway. That just does not compute.

3. The existence of Chipotle. New Yorkers have an excuse for liking Chipotle (i.e. they don’t know any better, and in most neighborhoods, it’s all they’ve got.) Los Angeles should know better.

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