Strip Club Lunch: Getting Crabs and Strip Steak at Rick’s Cabaret
After this post, the PR people from Rick’s Cabaret were bugging me to come try their lunch. I never accept free food from the places I write about on Midtown Lunch (and wanted to stay married) so I told them thanks, but no thanks for that strip club lunch. If I wanted a strip club lunch I would pay for it myself! Of course popular ML commenter Mamacita is not under the same restrictions- so I gladly sent her in my place, to check out the “scenery” at Rick’s Cabaret. I also knew that most of you would much rather picture her at Rick’s than me. Here is her story…
While there may be many tasty delights to be had at Rick’s Cabaret, I was restrained by Zach’s Midtown Lunch $10 price limit so I will not be telling how it feels to get a lap dance at Rick’s. I will also not be telling you about a little something I coined the “Corporate Massage,” which seemed to involve older, bald, fat (no offense Zach) C.E.O’s and perky bodiced ladies rubbing your back and perhaps calling you daddy (Should that excite you). I will also not digress to tell you about the enhanced lovelies in g-strings dancing upon the stage to AC/DC and Aerosmith. Furthermore, I will not mention how this lunch was the first time I’ve seen a stripper dance to R.E.M. and rub her ample buttocks up and down a mirrored wall.
No, we will not sink so low today. After all, this blog is about lunch- right? (Well, maybe we’ll sink a little.)
So let’s get down to the brass tacks. When you enter Rick’s you are offered a choice of seating. Option one is the ground floor- furnished with comfy armchairs and cocktail tables surrounding a red-lit main stage with mirrored walls and disco lights. Option two is a seat upstairs at the bar and lounge, set off from the attractions going on below (but includes a lovely lobster tank.)
Obviously, we opted for the former. Seated in a dimly lit corner we ordered a round of drinks ($8 bucks a pop) and took in the menu (yes, I know that puts me over the ML limit, but hell, I’m in a bar full of stripers! A girl needs a drink). The kitchen is headed by chef Nestor, and as you can tell by this photo, it’s very good to be the chef:
The prix-fixe lunch included soup or salad, entree and dessert. Between the choice of onion or barley soup and caesar salad we opted for the caesar, after all I prefer my barley in drink form. Entrees included a grilled sirloin steak sandwich, steak frites, strip steak, grilled shrimp salad, cheeseburger, grilled chicken club, salmon fillet, or jumbo lump crabcake sandwich. We got the strip and the crab.
I can’t resist a tossed salad in creamy dressing and this one came with abundant parmesan shavings which is always a plus. While I found it tasty, I’d stick to the house salad if you are not into a traditional caesar dressing which has a definite anchovy flavor. The steak was smoky and charred on the outside and a perfectly medium rare and juicy on the inside. The crabcake was wonderfully spiced with Old Bay seasoning and creamy mustard on a brioche bun.
Both came with shoestring fries that were salty, golden and crunchy. I loved the steak and I really liked how the crabcake was actually made of chunks of tender crab and not just mushy breading. However the bun, as good as it tasted, was too much bread for the crabcake and I ended up taking the top bun off and eating it open faced. We also got a quick look at the salmon dish and it looked wonderful.
For $10, the salad, main course, and wonderful scenery would clearly be enough. But wait. There’s more. Dessert is included, and the offering of dessert options is where I almost passed out. Choose between a big and round apple crumble with vanilla ice cream; dark chocolate cake with drizzles of tangy raspberry puree; or a creamy cheesecake topped with plump blueberries, strawberries and whipped cream. It was hedonistic, and I was already stuffed, but.. but… like a pig at the trough I could not resist. I hit it hard and good. Hell, I got so excited if that plate was wearing a g-string I would have slipped it a fiver.
After all was said and eaten, I must say there is something about having a 3 course meal while circled by men getting lap-dances that was a bit disconcerting to me. Kinda like I was in a crappy David Duchovny movie. Terrible shame though, I was offered a ‘dance’ by a gorgeous tall blonde with skin like milky silk and I declined. Sometimes it’s a bitch to be straight.
Here’s the breakdown ML style:
- Hot! Nekkid! Babes!\
- An amazing amount of quality food for $10
- Excellent choice of different entrees and desserts that will put you in a happy food coma
- Option to sit comfortably on the 2nd or 3rd floor away from the stage and strippers (though I can’t imagine why??)
- Elevator access to the above floors that avoids the main attraction (again, why?? Did I mention the strippers are downstairs!!)
- Obviously, temptation could easily make this runneth over the $10 price limit
- Hot! Nekkid! Babes! Your wife will kill you! ( Zach take note.)
- With 3 courses, drinks and um.. entertainment, this could definitely be a ‘long’ lunch, plan appropriately
Rick’s Cabaret, 50 W 33rd St. (btw. 5+Bway), (212) 372-0850