The Midtown Lunch Ultimate Burrito Theory (and how it relates to Chipotle sucking)
So, yesterday was the big day. I returned to Chipotle, after a yearlong, self imposed absence- and had a burrito. It was not terrible, but it was not worth waiting in a 20 minute line for- and in the end it just reinforced my Ultimate Burrito Theory, which I will now share with you.
Burritos are the perfect food. That’s it, perfectly constructed, with a brilliant balance of ingredients. You start with a soft, and very large tortilla to hold it all together, steam it with cheese, and add your starch (rice and beans). Top it with your choice of meat, which adds a salty and fatty flavor, and add pico de gallo for your tomato, onion, lime and cilantro, all covered in sour cream or guacamole for creaminess. If you like it spicy or smoky you have plenty of salsa choices, whether it be green tomatillo, or fiery hot red salsa. It all comes together to form a nugget of goodness, that you can pick up with two hands and eat (none of this fork and knife crap you get at most Mexican places in NYC).
That’s it. Simple, easy and anybody can do it? Right? Well, apparently not. Chipotle does everything you see above, and yet for some reason their burrito doesn’t quite make the grade. Well, here’s why. They flavor every ingredient unnecessarily, so you end up with a big overspiced mess. You don’t need to add cilantro and lime to your rice, it’s already in the salsa. They add their special “adobo” to many of the meats, and then add alot of the same spices to the black beans. Totally unnecessary. And then of course they add too much salt to everything.
Don’t believe me? Check out the “Ingredients Page” on their website. Mouse over each item they offer and look at the pride they take in how many ingredients go into each of their fillings. I’m sure each thing tastes delicious on its own. Cilantro and lime rice, that’s been lightly salted? Mmmmm! Black Beans seasoned with “cumin, garlic and other spices”? Bring it on! Mixed together with meat that’s been marinated and slow braised in cumin and garlic, and topped with salsa that has cilantro & lime- it’s a little too much. It’s like adding tomato flavored cheese to pizza. It’s just stupid. The food is already a perfect combo of ingredients. Why mess with it?
I’m not saying don’t spice things, I’m saying the burrito is about balance. Don’t spice each element to taste good on its own. The best burrito places spice each element with the knowledge that it will be added to other elements that have their own spices and flavor.
One commenter said something about “authenticity”, but I want to make it clear it has nothing to do with that. A burrito is a burrito. Rice, beans, cheese, tortilla, salsa. I would hardly claim that Baja Fresh is the picture of authentic Mexican food, and yet I love that place. Why? Because it’s clean flavors. They don’t fuck with the formula. Their Baja Burrito is perfect. Tortilla, charbroilled chicken topped with pico de gallo, cheese and guacamole. A great combo. They don’t add smoky ingredients to the chicken, because if you want it smoky, you’ll add the smoky salsa.
What I ended up getting at Chipotle (from your recommendations), after the jump… Read more »