Free Coffee Alert: Plus Win FreeFoods For a Month
Unlike Oren’s, who is only giving away free coffee tomorrow for a couple of hours, FreeFoods NYC is offering a coupon that will get you free coffee every day this week at their new location on 52nd btw. Lex+3rd. (Click on the coupon to print it out.) But more exciting is the news that they are having a contest to give away a whole month of food for free:
To enter simply submit a 250 word or less email, no later than this Thursday, with the subject: “Why I deserve FreeFoods for 1 Month” and send it to firstname.lastname@example.org.
You know what? I think I’m going to go for it. Why shouldn’t they give the prize to a meat loving, expensive lunch hating, fatso like me? My award winning essay is after the jump.
“There is nobody more deserving of a month of lunches from FreeFoods NYC than me. Here’s my logic… sure, you could give the food to a vegetarian, or a healthy and environmently conscious person who eats all organic foods- but why bother? Those people are already willing to go into debt eating at your establishment. That’s not to say I hate vegetarian food. I actually love it in some cases (R.I.P. Zen Burger). What I do hate is expensive food. (Actually I detest it.) So, why not seek to convert somebody who already has an aversion to your lovely establishment. And, free food tastes better! So it’s your best chance of converting me. I never accept free food from places in Midtown, but I’ll make an exception in this case to show I’m a good person, willing to give you a chance.
Admittedly your by-the-pound buffet looks like it might be the most delicious in Midtown, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to spend $14 a pound for my lunch. Do you know what that could cost a fat guy like me? I would probably have to ask congress to include me in their bailout package… or better yet, you could just award me the month of free lunches. Don’t discriminate against people who don’t think like you! Do it for me. And more importantly, do it for your country!”