Midtown Lunch

If you like to eat, chances are you like to drink (read: a lot of you are freakin’ lushes), so I thought maybe it was time to introduce a happy hour column to the site. Every week, our Happy Hour Correspondent “Mamacita” will post about a different bar in Midtown that fits the Midtown Lunch mentality: unhealthy food, not lame (unless it’s lame in a cool way), and most importantly… cheap. Unfortunately, sometimes when you and your coworkers are super thirsty, and hungry, and trying to find a place that is convenient for everybody, you end up stumbling into a dud. Which is exactly what happened this week…

Now I will preface this review by saying, dear gentle readers, that I am not a woman of high means. Yet, I have indulged in a bottle of Midleton Very Rare or even a Jameson ‘pure pot still’ 15 year whiskey. However, when I am faced with a pricy “signature cocktail” I am not afraid to speak out for a change! A change in the great Big Apple swindle, or what I call, the girly drink grift!

Here was the group of us late at night at Legends on W. 33rd Street. In our defense, it was the only place nearby to our respective train stops… and this is what we found: Legendary Cocktails for $11. This included the Big Apple Martini (a sweet and sour concoction), the Sex in the City Cosmo (that unfortunately speaks for itself), and the Empire State Bellini (that I’m sure is actually poured pretty small). The Happy hour was from 4pm to 7pm with $4 domestic drafts and $5 well drinks. Well, at least that wasn’t too bad… if you ignored the decor.

We seated ourselves at one of their large tables and were greeted by a waiter that in my friend Ana’s words, “only needed suspenders and some ‘flair’ to fit right in at TGI Fridays.” Ouch! The multilevel restaurant smacked of a fancy hotel bar, complete with faux Renaissance art, candle chandeliers and what seemed like fake palm trees. To add to the questionable ambiance was a centralized raw sushi bar that was barren of customers. It was actually kind of sad because that poor sushi chef just stood there all night cleaning off his knife and table with little to do.

On our menu this night included Crispy Dumplings ($12), Kobe Sliders ($14), Black Angus Cheese Steak ($13) and a Legendary Burger called the Empire ($13). Seeing those prices, I don’t feel I need to drag this out any further. The Empire burger was cooked perfectly medium rare but was not worth the price. The cheese steak was disappointing and bared little resemblance to the actual thing. The sliders were chared hard hockey pucks of disappointment and to add insult to injury most of the little burger was all bun. Yet, we were all in agreement that the waffle fries were decent. I guess you really can’t mess up fried potatoes. Of course waffle fries does not make a good happy hour. Subway stops be damned… don’t make the same mistake we did.

THE +

• Rick’s Cabaret is next door. Take your striper out for dinner!
• Your basic Midtown bar happy hour
• Caters to CEO’s, and could be a nice place for a work party
• Some very big TV screens to catch a game after work

THE –

• Over priced, mediocre food
• Well drinks are your average to light pour in a small glass
• Unnecessarily decorative flourishes
• WTF is up with lonely raw bar chef??

Legends, 6 West 33rd St (btw. 5+6th).  212-967-7792