Avoid the Subway on 35th Like the Plague (Literally- some guy was given the plague by a knife left in his sandwich)

From this mornings NY Post: “A Queens man is suing [Subway] for $1 million after finding a large serrated knife he says was baked into the bread of his 12-inch cold-cut sub.  [He] bought the sub from a shop on West 35th Street, where he often went for lunch.” The article goes on to mention that although the man wasn’t harmed by the knife, he did become “violently ill with ‘severe stomach issues’ for three hours.”  There are only 3 letters for this one.  OMG.  Where to begin…  let’s see… uh… don’t eat at Subway?  That seems like a good start.  And then, if you do decide to eat at Subway, and you pick up your sub and feel something hard and knife-like inside the bread, you may not want to eat it.  Seems curious that part of his complaint was that the sub made him violently ill.  Isn’t a knife in a sandwich grounds enough for anger.  Do you really have to “prove” that you are owed restitution by admitting you still ate enough of the knife-filled sandwich to make you violently ill for 3 hours?  Awesome.

37 Comments

  • sounds like some homophobic sandwich shivving on the part of Jared & co. Hope this clown’s lawyer is claiming discrimination…

    P.S. they make these crap sandwiches right in front of you. how the f@ck do you miss them slipping in the knife?

  • it’s just a scam by someone looking to milk the Subway empire for what they can… now why the f*%k does the doughboy need a knife like that for baking the bread? and why would one get food poisoning from the knife? make up amore entertaining story next time would ya?!?

    i for one still love the $5 footlong special that Subway’s got going on… with or without the knife!!!

  • Haaha! I thought that read Bossmans Bitch at first!

    Bossman, keep yo bitches in line pimp dawg!

  • Thats just crazy o_o Better becare and aware of what oyu put in your mouth now =s

  • “How did he get a sandwich that Subway did not cut in half? They have always refused to leave it uncut when I have asked them to.”

    It doesn’t take a rocket surgeon to conclude the breadjockey may have some difficulty locating A FREAKIN’ KNIFE!!!!!

  • “keep yo bitches in line pimp dawg!”

    Ya’ crunk girl? That be booty cheddar ……bside bein’ rawr and trailing a bitchin’ badonkadonk my bias be balling at being my main boo, dey to busy chasin Osca Maya ain’t got no time bounce onto some ‘net shit smacking on grub

  • if the knife was baked into the bread, then there’s probably melted plastic in there.

  • the knife things seems like something a mother would put in a sandwich as she goes visit her son at prison

  • Rudy, I am needful of a very un-pc sword-swallower joke.

  • I had the same symptoms from Subway as this guy only minus the knife.. Maybe I should have sued too. Lost wages, humiliation of puking in a trash bin on the side of the road as the building’s super cried out in despair.. Hours of 103 degree fever. hours of being unable to move…ugh..

  • You didn’t think Jared was the exercise type did you?

  • …….if he wins the $1m……what d’you think he’ll splash out on?(pun very much intended)

  • This has been on of the best threads ever

  • And wagers on the next found object in a lunch?

    My money is on a toenail

  • I found a vegetable in in my lunch today. It was horrifying, I almost gagged.

  • Really? I bet it wasn’t a cucumber, Mamacita….

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