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Avoid the Subway on 35th Like the Plague (Literally- some guy was given the plague by a knife left in his sandwich)

From this mornings NY Post: “A Queens man is suing [Subway] for $1 million after finding a large serrated knife he says was baked into the bread of his 12-inch cold-cut sub.  [He] bought the sub from a shop on West 35th Street, where he often went for lunch.” The article goes on to mention that although the man wasn’t harmed by the knife, he did become “violently ill with ’severe stomach issues’ for three hours.”  There are only 3 letters for this one.  OMG.  Where to begin…  let’s see… uh… don’t eat at Subway?  That seems like a good start.  And then, if you do decide to eat at Subway, and you pick up your sub and feel something hard and knife-like inside the bread, you may not want to eat it.  Seems curious that part of his complaint was that the sub made him violently ill.  Isn’t a knife in a sandwich grounds enough for anger.  Do you really have to “prove” that you are owed restitution by admitting you still ate enough of the knife-filled sandwich to make you violently ill for 3 hours?  Awesome.

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37 Comments

  1. User has not uploaded an avatar

    A whole new meaning to “Mack the Knife!”

  2. User has not uploaded an avatar

    Hmm.. this knife is unusual.. but maybe I should try the sandwich anyway!

  3. User has not uploaded an avatar

    Law student ramblings: if he’s trying to claim any kind of emotional distress, he probably has to show that the emotional trauma of the incident caused him physical pain and suffering.

    As if Subway’s “cold cuts” aren’t prima facia proof…

  4. User has not uploaded an avatar

    I had a pencil in my wrap once at Au Bon Pan at Union Station, DC. The guy wrote down my order, and then somehow managed to place the pencil in my wrap AND slice through it when he cut the wrap in half. How did he A) saw through the pencil and B) not notice it was harder to cut the wrap than usual? I hopped on the Amtrak, got ready to dig into my wrap for dinner. I noticed it when I took my first bite (and bit into a pencil!) and promptly threw the rest away.

    I guess I’m lucky he didn’t wrap the knife in there : )

  5. User has not uploaded an avatar

    @K, its just a pencil, get over yourself. Take it out and eat the sandwich. The amount of bodily fluid you’ve probably swallowed is way nasty than that.

  6. User has not uploaded an avatar

    This just in , Quiznos baking guns into every footlong vowing not to lose marketshare…

  7. User has not uploaded an avatar

    p.s., WTF is Homo Xtra magazine?

  8. User has not uploaded an avatar

    Ha ha….. I wondered myself but was afraid to find out.

    He’s claiming food poisioning due to whatever grunge was on the knife seeping into the bread during baking (as if it was impervious to it if it was merely cut with it).

  9. User has not uploaded an avatar

    [...] And only in NYC can you find a knife in your Subway sandwich!? [...]

  10. User has not uploaded an avatar

    It’s better known as HX Magazine, one of the 2 main NYC gay rags. It and Next Magazine. Free on every corner in Chelsea…

  11. User has not uploaded an avatar

    Better than finding a mouse

    Which is better still than finding half a mouse

  12. User has not uploaded an avatar

    I hope that guy gets his money. This is ridicoulous. Who would have thought we would have to start putting our lunch through a metal detector from now on??

  13. User has not uploaded an avatar

    How did he get a sandwich that Subway did not cut in half? They have always refused to leave it uncut when I have asked them to.
    I find it easier to eat a whole hero rather than two halves.

    Harvey

  14. User has not uploaded an avatar

    I bet Jared told him to keep it hush hush lest everyone would want one.

  15. User has not uploaded an avatar

    Very Un Pc gay joke….

    ……Gay gay in Katz Deli “can i have 12 inches of the garlic sausage please”….

    Counter Guy: “you want the slices thick or thin?”

    Gay Guy : “sliced?…………..SLICED???? what do you think my arse is?…a fucking piggy bank?”

  16. User has not uploaded an avatar

    It’s all risk & reward

    When you eat food supplied by the the low bidder and prepared by minimum wage earners you pay low prices but assume high risk – and are guaranteed a low reward …. a bad deal by any standard

    Jeez I sound like CockChug. Speaking of which, where is our resident psycho?

  17. User has not uploaded an avatar

    Last seen berating Brownie, the nerve of him to be commenting on profiled MLer’s physical appearance.

  18. User has not uploaded an avatar

    great joke Rudy

    Did you also hear that DocChuck’s wife asked him for 12 inches and to make it hurt?

    He boned her 4 times and slapped her

    …then fell asleep reading Homo Xtra magazine

  19. User has not uploaded an avatar

    do we really need a knife in a subway sub to stop us from eating there??

  20. User has not uploaded an avatar

    That photo of a disintegrating knife lying quietly next to a nasty lettuce sub is my new desktop wallpaper! Cheers!

  21. User has not uploaded an avatar

    sounds like some homophobic sandwich shivving on the part of Jared & co. Hope this clown’s lawyer is claiming discrimination…

    P.S. they make these crap sandwiches right in front of you. how the f@ck do you miss them slipping in the knife?

  22. User has not uploaded an avatar

    it’s just a scam by someone looking to milk the Subway empire for what they can… now why the f*%k does the doughboy need a knife like that for baking the bread? and why would one get food poisoning from the knife? make up amore entertaining story next time would ya?!?

    i for one still love the $5 footlong special that Subway’s got going on… with or without the knife!!!

  23. User has not uploaded an avatar

    Haaha! I thought that read Bossmans Bitch at first!

    Bossman, keep yo bitches in line pimp dawg!

  24. User has not uploaded an avatar

    Thats just crazy o_o Better becare and aware of what oyu put in your mouth now =s

  25. User has not uploaded an avatar

    “How did he get a sandwich that Subway did not cut in half? They have always refused to leave it uncut when I have asked them to.”

    It doesn’t take a rocket surgeon to conclude the breadjockey may have some difficulty locating A FREAKIN’ KNIFE!!!!!

  26. User has not uploaded an avatar

    “keep yo bitches in line pimp dawg!”

    Ya’ crunk girl? That be booty cheddar ……bside bein’ rawr and trailing a bitchin’ badonkadonk my bias be balling at being my main boo, dey to busy chasin Osca Maya ain’t got no time bounce onto some ‘net shit smacking on grub

  27. User has not uploaded an avatar

    if the knife was baked into the bread, then there’s probably melted plastic in there.

  28. User has not uploaded an avatar

    the knife things seems like something a mother would put in a sandwich as she goes visit her son at prison

  29. User has not uploaded an avatar

    Rudy, I am needful of a very un-pc sword-swallower joke.

  30. User has not uploaded an avatar

    I had the same symptoms from Subway as this guy only minus the knife.. Maybe I should have sued too. Lost wages, humiliation of puking in a trash bin on the side of the road as the building’s super cried out in despair.. Hours of 103 degree fever. hours of being unable to move…ugh..

  31. User has not uploaded an avatar

    You didn’t think Jared was the exercise type did you?

  32. User has not uploaded an avatar

    …….if he wins the $1m……what d’you think he’ll splash out on?(pun very much intended)

  33. User has not uploaded an avatar

    This has been on of the best threads ever

  34. User has not uploaded an avatar

    And wagers on the next found object in a lunch?

    My money is on a toenail

  35. User has not uploaded an avatar

    I found a vegetable in in my lunch today. It was horrifying, I almost gagged.

  36. User has not uploaded an avatar

    Really? I bet it wasn’t a cucumber, Mamacita….

  37. User has not uploaded an avatar

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