The World is Coming to an End… I ate a salad for lunch yesterday


I know… I know.  What is wrong with me?  I’ll apologize up front, because it’s just not right.  I don’t eat salads.  I’m supposed to be killing myself, lunch by lunch, bite of fat after bite of fat, for all of you to see.  Salads ruin that plan.  Despite the timing, I did not eat the salad because of some stupid New Year’s resolution (I don’t believe in those), or because I had a fried pork and plantains sandwich at Tina’s Restaurant on Monday, followed by free Chinese food on Tuesday.

The salad is actually Fresh Direct’s fault.  See, the dirty little secret of Midtown Lunch is- I don’t eat out every day.  In an attempt to convince work that I’m not spending every lunch hour photographing street carts, plus to be a little “healthy”, and save some money (this shit gets expensive), I actually only eat out 3 days a week.  The other two days, I’ll bring a peanut butter and jelly sandwich to work (cute right?).  Maybe not the healthiest lunch in the universe, but it certainly has less calories than every single lunch I’ve ever eaten for this site.  Well, this week Fresh Direct forgot to deliver our damn peanut butter- leaving me feeling like I should at least attempt to eat healthy (and close to the office).  A salad it is.

I ate the damn thing- so I might as well tell you what I thought of it…. after the jump.

Not surprisingly, so many people at work ask me for lunch recommendations every day.  The conversation usually goes something like this:

“Hey Zach, where should I eat lunch today?”

“I don’t know.  Tell me what you’re in the mood for and I’ll give you a suggestion.”

“Um… I don’t know.  Something healthy.”

“Riiiiiight.  Does it look like I eat healthy?  Sorry, I don’t really know too much about that stuff.  Come back to me when you’re looking for lunch that doubles as a heart attack inducer.”

The last time I ate a salad was at Variety Cafe, in June of 2006, and I bragged about how I ”fat guy’d” it up by adding cheese, fried chicken and those fried chinese noodle thingys to it.  Once Variety Cafe was closed by the DOH, that was the end of my salad eating days… until yesterday. 

A friend from work has been trying to convince me forever that the Signature Salad from Cosi is delicious.  So, looking for that “healthy” lunch, I heeded his advice and headed over.  One of your garden variety fruit, nut & cheese salads, Cosi’s Signature Salad is mixed greans topped with pears, grapes, dried cranberries, pistachios and gorgonzola cheese (or as I like to call it- ”the savior”).  If I’m going to eat a salad, you better believe it’s going to have cheese in it.

All in all, it was pretty tasty (for a salad) but for $8.33, it was not particularly hefty (i.e. “Where’s the fried chicken???”),  and I couldn’t help but feel I had been ripped off.  Is this how ”normal” people feel, going to these places every single day and paying these prices for sandwiches and salads.  Luckily, it came with a piece of fresh baked Cosi bread, the saving grace of an otherwise generic chain, and I was able to convince myself it was worth it. 

Picking up my *cough* salad from one of the closest places to my office possible, and taking it back to my desk to eat, while convincing myself it was worth the $8+, I almost felt like a real Midtown worker for a day.  I don’t think I liked it.


  • if you’re going to eat a salad Cosi is not the place to do it. glad to hear you tried to be healthy but there are places that make much better salads. if Cosi didn’t have great bread i don’t think people would go.

  • I peed a little when I read about Tina’s new sandwich.

    Man has been searching for the perfect sandwich since at least 1762, when Jon Mantagu, Earl of ‘wich, allegedly invented this form of food assembly.

    I think we’ve finally found it.

  • I had a Cosi sandwich yesterday and while tastey not worth $8.01. I need you to find me more Vegetarian options for the East side (41st & 3rd) being home base.

  • Sorry, but eating that Cosi bread makes your lunch decidedly unhealthy……

  • The salad-eaters in my office swear by Chop’t – 56th & Mad. – though I’ve never tried it myself.

  • Although rarely mentioned in these pages due to being on the upper end of the cost limit, AQ Cafe makes some pretty happening salads for lunch, all in the $6.50 – $8.50 range. As I recall, they have some with cheese, some with chicken and some with beef. The chicken one was great and it comes with both bread and flatbread (ask for lots of butter). Certainly better than the offerings of the McChain DuJour.

  • I can tell that this is going to be one of the winners of 2008! haha.. hilarious!

  • Cosi salads are overpriced rabbit food. You’re better off at your nearest deli, picking out specifically what you want.

    If you’re going to go to Cosi, you can help moderate their ridiculous prices by searching the free dailies (amNY and Metro) – they run ads fairly frequencly with $2 off coupons. For $6 you don’t feel quite so violated.

  • That is one measly looking salad. Please tell me you went to the Treats Truck later to get something delicious and filling?

  • you ate a salad for lunch… did you follow it up with something more substantial? a snack in the afternoon? my faith in humanity and all things tasty in midtown has been rocked. more fried pork sandwiches!

    and how come leafy pieces from a plant cost as much as a sandwich?

  • I eat a salad at Cosi every day for lunch. Then I hop on the Path train and go home and watch “According to Jim”. Then I kill myself.

  • Seriously Zack, grab a $2 off coupon and at least get their new meatball & pesto sandwich. I’m bored so I’ll try it today.

    Anyplace to get a big Chinese chicken salad? The kind with the sweet sesame dressing and lots of fried crunchy noodles and chicken?
    (for cheap?)

  • SEE!!!! see!!! Angela you bitch!!!! you’ve infected Zach!!!!

  • Salad? Sacrilege!

  • Meatball and pesto, eh? That’s beef you can feel good about.

  • Just Salad must put crack in their dressing because every woman in the office goes there at least three times a week. It’s nearly a cult.

  • Cosi’s signature salad isn’t even healthy– 10 oz has 21 grams of fat, not including the dressing. And I bet you were still hungry…

  • Next thing you know, Zach will be saying how he likes Zen Burger!

    Dont worry all, I made up for it yesterday by having lamb over rice (double meat) and a chocolate peanut butter brownie for deser from treats truck

  • zach – the chef’s salad from Pax is not too bad for the price, as its name implies, you have your meats, cheese and egg on top of the salad for about $7. Grab a few rolls they include with the soups around lunch time, toos on the “lite” italian dressing and you have a meal that keeps fat guys like us happy for the day.

  • To restore universal balance I shall buy some scotish mountain cattle filet on the way home.Where-upon i shall fashion it into a voodoo doll effergy of angela/Mr.Lusk/Kathy and stab the fucker with a sabatier carving knife.

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