Airing of Grievances: You Are a Loser For Not Eating the Walgreens Sandwich!
All grievances are valid, even when they are aimed at yours truly…
Photo courtesy of Blondie and Brownie
I was hoping that my post about not eating the sandwiches at Walgreens after being dared by a reader would elicit sympathy from the Midtown Lunch commenters… but clearly not. I thought turning my nose up at shrink wrapped sandwiches, shipped from Massachusetts to giant pharmacies would increase my cred- not destroy it! Boy was I wrong…
You buy food from anonymous unlicensed people standing on the street selling shit illegally that they made in their home with no idea about the sanitation, storage, source ingredients or skill….people who just randomly show up on a sidewalk every now and then with a stack of styrofoam containers…..and you balk at sandwiches made by a company that is accountable to health inspectors and other governmental agencies, giant corporate customers (Walgreens in this case) not to mention shareholders/investors. ???????????? Obviously a company can screw up just as easily as an individual, but your risk/reward paradigm has gotten severely messed up. -Ben
Yes! Exactly! In fact, when you consider what the Government allows our corporations to get away with-and conversely, the hoops they force street vendors to jump through- I am much more comfortable eating street meat. Not to mention, I didn’t welsh on the dare because I was afraid of getting sick, I welshed because the sandwiches had no chance of being something Midtown Lunch readers would want to eat.
Or so I thought…
Both Wined & Dined and Blondie and Brownie capitalized on my moral outrage failings as a self-proclaimed fat man, and tried the Walgreens sandwiches for themselves- to much fanfare in the comments:
You’re good ppl by me. That turkey sub doesn’t look bad at all. And for 4 bucks, that’s a steal. The burger looks weak, and I know you only bought it for shock value, but a job well done. We can chill anytime. You’ve got yourself a new fan.
Zach, you are on thin ice. Step up to the challenge and reclaim some dignity. When I first saw this site, you totally transformed the way I think about midtwon lunch. I never once tried Street Meat and now I eat it 2-3 days a week. Biryani Kart and Kwik Meal are my favorite places to eat. I get Indian buffet and food from a news stand because you told me to. There were two mottos: lunch under $10 and have an open mind.
Restore our faith in you and eat a sandwich. Please, for the sake of midtown-lunchers everywhere. I’ll gladly come with you for moral support if you want. Sincerely, DougieC
Dougie C, how did we let it get to this point? Were there signs that something has been wrong for awhile, or was it just a switch that turned off inside your heart? Damnit, I should have just eaten the damn sandwich…
Wait… no! I don’t feel bad… I didn’t not eat the sandwich because I was scared. I didn’t eat the sandwich because it was assembled and produced by a company outside of New York, and shrink wrapped before being shipped to Midtown. What am I saying is, these sandwiches would survive a nuclear holocaust. There was no way this was going to be a legitimate Midtown Lunch, and to even mention them in the same breath as Biryani Cart or Kwik Meal is terrible!
Shrink wrap is where i draw the line people… I think it takes these sandwiches even out of the 7-11/gas station sandwich category, and makes it more like a frozen dinner or something. Should I start writing about Stouffer’s, if they are sold in Midtown delis? Is there nobody who will sympathize with my decision!
I’m sorry if I’ve let you some of you down… but lucky for you, there are other blogs that seem willing to take up the “gross pre-packaged sandwich” beat! Sorry, I just can’t do it. (Gross pre-packaged Asian food, maybe. But sandwiches? No thanks.) Hopefully I won’t have to turn in my ‘fat guy’ membership card. Could I redeem myself by eating a Tad’s Steak, sandwiched between two fried fish sandwiches from the Kim’s Aunt Kitchen Cart? And then we can never speak of this again. I’ll even drink the saran wrapped wine, if it will make you love me once again…
Posted by Zach Brooks at 11:30 am, January 23rd, 2009 under Airing of Grievances, Dare.
64 Comments | RSS comments feed for this post
64 Comments
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Zach,
You should eat at Subway for 1 whole week as penance.
Shame on you!
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I still love you Zach. Shrink wrapped sandwiches = disgusting.
Besides, I read this blog to find out where the GOOD food is, not shit that’s worse than what I can get at a gas station.
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“Could I redeem myself by eating a Tad’s Steak, sandwiched between two fried fish sandwiches from the Kim’s Aunt Kitchen Cart?”
if you do this – you get my respect until my dying day
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Dude, I totally don’t blame you for going for that sandwich… even at times when I had a sandwich from 7-11 I kinda mentally freaked out about what I was eating…
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Haha…I’m down with you drawing the line at shrink-wrap.
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Midtown Lunch: The Dramatic Miniseries – will be back next week on this channel
Future sponsors include Stewart’s Sandwiches and Drake’s Devil Dogs
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every eat a twinkie? hostess cupcake? 7/11 burrito? vacuum packing keeps things fresh longer. isn’t that a good idea. go try the sandwich or lose me forever.
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I think the point here is not the provenance of the sandwich, perceived quality or lack thereof that is the issue. We give you our loyal readership, you give us your word and promptly break it over an innocuous sandwich. Next time you just gotta rev the throttle and jump those sharks, Fonzie. Yeah, I said it.
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blondie is hilarious and a total badass for bustin’ out the blue label. much respect. and zach you can take your time on the tad’s steak b/t 2 fried fish sandwiches from Kim’s…i’m not running out anytime soon to steal your thunder. but it would be f’in awesome if someone else did….who’s steppin’ up?
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I was on the fence on this one, but now I agree. You should try it. I usually stay away from those sandwhiches, even at supermarkets. But some are better than others like 7/11.
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What I’m getting from this is that Zach is big anti-corporation/establishment. He shuns large-national companies for their efficiency in food preparation/distribution claiming the manufacturing/distribution process affects taste or nutrients.
He champions the local, salt-of-the-earth food preparer despite obvious deficiencies in food preparation and distribution efficiency. (niche shops and food carts, or bag ladys). The larger the operation the “grosser” the food is, the smaller the operation (bag lady) the more amazing it is.Zach is the People’s midtown lunch.
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We should all go to Gay Supermans blog .
And take the piss outa him instead.
Wayne, get ya clutch bag.
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expertly said AL@1PP!
Now all you losers out there stop your bitching and go eat some lamb and rice! Power to the People!!
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don’t do it Zach! Someone did have to tell the tourists not to eat those. I don’t see it as your failings, more like we were going for class participation points.
Thank you W&D, what better way to compliment a $4 shrink-wrapped sandwich than with a $200 bottle of whiskey. I don’t know how you pulled that off at work. That’s a line I couldn’t cross.
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it was actually pretty funny. i had to heat the double cheeseburger up in the office kitchen microwave and everyone looked at my like i was some kind of freak (which i may be). it stunk worse than day-old microwaved salmon. two people asked me what i was eating and i responded that we are representing plaintiffs in a class-action suit against a processed sandwich company out of boston that is out to poison new york yankees fans. i then snuck back to my office to devour the monstrosities.
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@Stan: i think thats the point. who knows how long its been in that shrink wrap! yea, it can keep something “fresh” for a month, but its still a month old!
Zach, do what you want. All you haters out there, man up and go try it yourself and do your own review.
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Someone just issue a new dare already… ooh! Do any of the midtown Japanese places offer natto? Cuz I won’t eat that. And I don’t think it’s shrink wrapped. If you eat that, I think everyone should stfu already. NATTO is Japanese for “nasty”. Just kidding. I think :X
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what does “bulkie” mean?
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Whether or not that Walgreen’s sandwich was decent, I’d rather spend $4 on a couple of rice balls from Zaiya any day. The rice balls that Mr. Midtown Lunch introduced to the masses. Cheers to you, Zach!
The saran wrapped wine is where I draw the line.