Free Coffee Alert: Plus Win FreeFoods For a Month

coffeecoupon

Unlike Oren’s, who is only giving away free coffee tomorrow for a couple of hours, FreeFoods NYC is offering a coupon that will get you free coffee every day this week at their new location on 52nd btw. Lex+3rd.  (Click on the coupon to print it out.)  But more exciting is the news that they are having a contest to give away a whole month of food for free:

To enter simply submit a 250 word or less email, no later than this Thursday, with the subject: “Why I deserve FreeFoods for 1 Month” and send it to eatfree@freefoodsnyc.com.

You know what?  I think I’m going to go for it.  Why shouldn’t they give the prize to a meat loving, expensive lunch hating, fatso like me? My award winning essay is after the jump.

“There is nobody more deserving of a month of lunches from FreeFoods NYC than me.  Here’s my logic… sure, you could give the food to a vegetarian, or a healthy and environmently conscious person who eats all organic foods- but why bother?  Those people are already willing to go into debt eating at your establishment.  That’s not to say I hate vegetarian food.  I actually love it in some cases (R.I.P. Zen Burger).  What I do hate is expensive food.  (Actually I detest it.)  So, why not seek to convert somebody who already has an aversion to your lovely establishment. And, free food tastes better!  So it’s your best chance of converting me.  I never accept free food from places in Midtown, but I’ll make an exception in this case to show I’m a good person, willing to give you a chance. 

Admittedly your by-the-pound buffet looks like it might be the most delicious in Midtown, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to spend $14 a pound for my lunch.  Do you know what that could cost a fat guy like me?  I would probably have to ask congress to include me in their bailout package… or better yet, you could just award me the month of free lunches.  Don’t discriminate against people who don’t think like you!  Do it for me.  And more importantly, do it for your country!”

7 Comments

  • Before one of your readers accuses me of being a “shill”, I will state up front that I am FreeFoods president’s father. I was amused by your competition essay, although I don’t know that I’d select it if I were a judge (which I am not). You do place a little too much emphasis on the cost of eating there, however. Is it really better to spend $9 or $10 on a burger & fries than $14 for a pound of healthy, delicious organic food?

  • I agree. Free food does taste better. Down with vegetarians! (no just kidding. I am a sort of vegetarian.) But I like your piece. You deserve to win.

  • – I’m impressed that Joel did enough research on ML to know the risk of ML’ers calling him out as being a shill.
    – However, the fact that he doesn’t get that 5 dollars less a day is $1250 a year for a working stiff is beyond me.

  • Joel Schatzberg I am impressed that you read Midtown Lunch. It shows that you know where the pulse of NYC is. Also know that we are in an economic slump and $$$ are tight. Please inform your son of the problems in our economy. He doesn’t seem to care.

  • In fairness to Joel, I would agree buying organic is money well spent and for a good cause. BUT FreeFoods only gives the illusion that you are paying for organic. Just ask the management or employees (the ones who have a clue), the lettuce is always organic but many other vegetables are NOT…I had a salad with tomato and the sticker was left on (I guess they don’t wash their vegetables either) and it was not an organic tomato! Tomatoes are readily available, and relatively inexpensive, so I can only imagine how much of the other produce they purchase that isn’t organic. They really should be more open about exactly what IS ORGANIC. Also the chicken is NATURAL not ORGANIC, big difference!

  • @Joel,

    If you want to be more transparent, stop selling things as price per half pounds.

    Seriously, who the fuck does that except people who realize that customers would have sticker shock if they did it the way most people do it.

    So if you really want to say that, then display prices the way over 90% of per/lb restaurants do it.

  • I don’t live anywhere near Midtown or New York for that matter but I love this website!

    My two cents: In theory, organic vegetarian food is better for you in the long run because it reduces your chances of getting sick. Save $5 on an artery clogging bugger today, waste $100k on a triple by-pass tomorrow (and the meds, maybe a nurse/aid, therapy, loss of income, stress given off to others).

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