Avoid the Subway on 35th Like the Plague (Literally- some guy was given the plague by a knife left in his sandwich)

From this mornings NY Post: “A Queens man is suing [Subway] for $1 million after finding a large serrated knife he says was baked into the bread of his 12-inch cold-cut sub.  [He] bought the sub from a shop on West 35th Street, where he often went for lunch.” The article goes on to mention that although the man wasn’t harmed by the knife, he did become “violently ill with ‘severe stomach issues’ for three hours.”  There are only 3 letters for this one.  OMG.  Where to begin…  let’s see… uh… don’t eat at Subway?  That seems like a good start.  And then, if you do decide to eat at Subway, and you pick up your sub and feel something hard and knife-like inside the bread, you may not want to eat it.  Seems curious that part of his complaint was that the sub made him violently ill.  Isn’t a knife in a sandwich grounds enough for anger.  Do you really have to “prove” that you are owed restitution by admitting you still ate enough of the knife-filled sandwich to make you violently ill for 3 hours?  Awesome.

37 Comments

  • A whole new meaning to “Mack the Knife!”

  • Hmm.. this knife is unusual.. but maybe I should try the sandwich anyway!

  • Law student ramblings: if he’s trying to claim any kind of emotional distress, he probably has to show that the emotional trauma of the incident caused him physical pain and suffering.

    As if Subway’s “cold cuts” aren’t prima facia proof…

  • I had a pencil in my wrap once at Au Bon Pan at Union Station, DC. The guy wrote down my order, and then somehow managed to place the pencil in my wrap AND slice through it when he cut the wrap in half. How did he A) saw through the pencil and B) not notice it was harder to cut the wrap than usual? I hopped on the Amtrak, got ready to dig into my wrap for dinner. I noticed it when I took my first bite (and bit into a pencil!) and promptly threw the rest away.

    I guess I’m lucky he didn’t wrap the knife in there : )

  • @K, its just a pencil, get over yourself. Take it out and eat the sandwich. The amount of bodily fluid you’ve probably swallowed is way nasty than that.

  • This just in , Quiznos baking guns into every footlong vowing not to lose marketshare…

  • p.s., WTF is Homo Xtra magazine?

  • Ha ha….. I wondered myself but was afraid to find out.

    He’s claiming food poisioning due to whatever grunge was on the knife seeping into the bread during baking (as if it was impervious to it if it was merely cut with it).

  • It’s better known as HX Magazine, one of the 2 main NYC gay rags. It and Next Magazine. Free on every corner in Chelsea…

  • Better than finding a mouse

    Which is better still than finding half a mouse

  • I hope that guy gets his money. This is ridicoulous. Who would have thought we would have to start putting our lunch through a metal detector from now on??

  • How did he get a sandwich that Subway did not cut in half? They have always refused to leave it uncut when I have asked them to.
    I find it easier to eat a whole hero rather than two halves.

    Harvey

  • I bet Jared told him to keep it hush hush lest everyone would want one.

  • Very Un Pc gay joke….

    ……Gay gay in Katz Deli “can i have 12 inches of the garlic sausage please”….

    Counter Guy: “you want the slices thick or thin?”

    Gay Guy : “sliced?…………..SLICED???? what do you think my arse is?…a fucking piggy bank?”

  • It’s all risk & reward

    When you eat food supplied by the the low bidder and prepared by minimum wage earners you pay low prices but assume high risk – and are guaranteed a low reward …. a bad deal by any standard

    Jeez I sound like CockChug. Speaking of which, where is our resident psycho?

  • Last seen berating Brownie, the nerve of him to be commenting on profiled MLer’s physical appearance.

  • great joke Rudy

    Did you also hear that DocChuck’s wife asked him for 12 inches and to make it hurt?

    He boned her 4 times and slapped her

    …then fell asleep reading Homo Xtra magazine

  • do we really need a knife in a subway sub to stop us from eating there??

  • That photo of a disintegrating knife lying quietly next to a nasty lettuce sub is my new desktop wallpaper! Cheers!

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