A (Literal) Dissection of the New Zen Burger

This past week saw the grand opening of a entirely new concept in fast food eating right here in Midtown.  From the owners of Zen Palate (a mid-range mini-chain of vegetarian restaurants here in the New York), comes Zen Burger, a vegetarian McDonald’s that they hope will change the face of the fast food business. 

Now, when I say Zen Burger is a vegetarian McDonald’s, I really mean vegetarian McDonald’s.  From the backlit menus behind the counter, to the numbered list of combo meals, this is a fast food joint through and through.  They even have the option to super size.  Those expecting some sort of crunchy, granola bar eating, meat hating, haute cuisine vegetarian concept are going to be sorely disappointed.  Zen Burger is cheap fast food-  and this might surprise you (considering there is no pork anywhere on the menu), but I actually really like it.

Curious what this Zen Burger food looks like?  I do something you never want to do at McDonald’s (take a bite and look inside), after the jump…

I actually don’t mind vegetarian food.  “Don’t mind” might even be an understatement.  Sometimes, I downright *like* vegetarian restaurants.   While I love meat, and can’t understand how anybody can discriminate against any kind of food, in a lot of cases, I find that good vegetarian restaurants go out of their way to make things taste good.  A veggie burger may not be a replacement for the Burger Joint, but it still can be a damn good sandwich.

Contrary to what you might have assumed, Zen Burger is not that kind of place.  While they clearly were concerned about things tasting good, their larger concern was making things taste like fast food- without the meat.  Everything on the menu is called what it is supposed to emulate, meat words and all- a fact that might alienate some vegetarians, who don’t even like meatless food that is meant to taste like it comes from an animal.

Zen Beef Burger, ZenChicken Sandwich, Zen Chicken Tenders & ZenShrimp don’t have any meat in them, but they are without a doubt meant to taste like they do.  And what would a fast food joint be without some sort of crazy sandwich (Bullseye BBQ Burger anybody?).  Enter Combo #2.  The Southwestern ZenBeef Burger.  The signature Zen Burger (which is slightly bigger than a regular McDonald’s hamburger), toped with a chiptole sauce, tomato, lettuce, and onion rings.  Onion rings???  This is my kind of health food!  How could I not…

 

The last thing you want to do when you’re eating McDonalds is to take a bite, and look inside at what you’re eating… but with Zen Burger my curiosity was too much.

The onion rings could have been a little crispier, but the taste was good.  The fries were like fast food McDonalds fries-  frozen shoestrings, dropped into hot oil.  The whole thing isn’t good in the way that a good Midtown hamburger with fresh cut fries is good.  But it’s good, like fast food good.  And that’s the way all the food on the menu is. 

Crispy Zen Chicken Sandwich:

And the innards…

This one could have been a little bigger, but the taste was still good.  And it looks like chicken!  I heard the ZenChicken tenders are outstanding (and come with your choice of three dippping sauces), but I figured they taste similar to the chicken sandwich- so I went with the Zen Shrimp instead.

And what do fake fried shrimp look like on the inside?

These were really good (how could they not be, they’re fried!), and seemed to be made from the same rice cake stuff that the fake shrimp on the by the pound buffets are made from.

By now, you may be thinking, “This stuff can’t be healthy, it’s all fried.”  And you’re right.  That’s what makes Zen Burger the perfect foil (and why I love it so much).  It’s not necessarily healthy.  Sure, the ZenBurger is much healthier then a McDonalds hamburger (no meat means close to zero cholesterol and saturated fat) but the fried things are still fried.  And the fries are still fries (despite being “low starch”).  Not healthy, just healthier.

One of the best parts of the concept, and why I think it will ultimately be successful is the price.  The combo meals with tax and come out to around $7.  That’s a sandwich, WITH fries AND a drink, for $7.  In Midtown, that is almost like free.  You might think the food tastes too much like meat, or not enough like meat, or the portions are not big enough, or maybe you just don’t like the taste.  But nobody could leave this place saying it’s too expensive.  And if you don’t want fountain soda, you can have one of their three lightly sweetened, all natural ice teas (Peach, Hawaiian and Green) instead.  Delicious, and included in that $7 combo. 

It’s almost a perfect replica of the fast food experience with only two things missing.  First is the filet of fish, which they plan to offer sometime in the next month as a limited edition item.  The other is the double burger.  If they truly want this place to be enjoyed by fat people, and vegetarians alike, you’ve gotta offer a double Zen Burger.  Who could argue with that?

According to the owner James Tu, they are hoping to roll the concept out as a nationwide chain (as the focus moves entirely away from the Zen Palate restaurants).  The next Zen Burger is already slated to open in Hollywood in the middle of the year (on Sunset Blvd. next to the Director’s Guild of American Building).  With dreams of large scale expansion, Tu is clearly hoping to drastically change the face of fast food in American.  According to him “If you eat McDonalds, and then eat at Zen Burger once, and then go back to McDonalds-  there is a problem with your brain.”

I don’t know if McDonald’s should be quaking in their boots just yet, and most fast food lovers are not going to give up their quarter pounder with cheese, but if you’re interested in something that tastes like fast food, but is 30% more healthy- Zen Burger might be your new favorite place.

THE +

  • The perfect place for the Vegetarian with McDonald’s envy
  • The perfect place for the fast food lover, who would like to pretend they’re being healthier
  • It tastes like McDonald’s, without the disgusting feeling you get afterwards.
  • The price is amazingly cheap, considering that it comes with french fries and a soda
  • The Iced Teas.  It could my favorite part of the whole place
  • They seemed to have worked out the kinks of the opening few days, and food is coming out pretty fast now.
  • The fries are pretty damn close to tasting like fast food french fries (except without the salt).

THE -

  • The food is not healthy, just healthier.  30% less calories then McDonald’s is still pretty fattening.
  • The food is not gourmet, made to order, vegetarian food.  It’s all frozen, pre-processed stuff (just like fast food), that is not made from any meat.  And in the end, it still tastes like fast food (which to some may not be a negative!)
  • For those who think vegetarian automatically means organic… it’s not organic.
  • The portions are not huge like fast food.  The chicken sandwich is pretty small, and the ZenBurger is only slightly bigger than a McDonalds hamburger.  If you are a hefty eater, you may be left hugry- or spending more than $10
  • No Yam Fries!  If you are a fan of Zen Palate, and were hoping for yam fries, they are conspicuously absent.  I don’t think they fit into the low price, fast food model…
  • Where’s the Double Zen Burger???
  • They don’t add salt to the fries, and they taste like frozen french fries.  If i’m going to eat fried slices of potato, I want them to be the best. 

Zen Burger, 465 Lexington Ave. (btw. 45+46th), New York, NY, 212-661-6080

80 Comments

  • Vegans in general need a bloody good slap.

  • Rudy, I think what Angela might need is a bloody good slap on the arse. Seriously Angie (can we call you Angie, or maybe Ang?) where does all this agression come from? Are we not entitled to not enjoy this food? And by not enjoying this food, that makes us fat people who take up multiple seats on subways? And why would you mind standing on the subway, since you’re so healthy and fit?

    Oh, and in case you haven’t read a single thing on this page, Zen Burger is NOT healthy…(“First of all, most vegetarians/vegans don’t want their dishes to taste like MEAT! We just want tasty, healthy food that some animal didn’t have to endure torture, and milk or cheese with PUSS and BLOOD.”)…It is healthIER fast food, but still fried and breaded, and the only organic offering on the menu is the mixed greens salad. That means your food is processed and genetically modified. w00t!

  • oh, and in case you forgot, you can be a fat and unhealthy vegetarian. *hugs Angie*

  • Okay, first of all, Rudy: your taking on Calling You Out makes my love for you even stronger. That being said, some of my best friends are vegan. I have to agree with a lot of what’s been said here, and full disclosure I’m a pretty flexible vegetarian (I’ll eat fish, I won’t die if I find out later my soup was made with chicken stock, also I kind of might not always be the healthiest eater), but I don’t understand why so many people are so enraged by the concept of: 1. fake meat/vegetarian food that mimics meat 2. Vegetarians wanting to eat junk food. Being a vegetarian does not make you always healthy and all virtuous. Some of us do it for political reasons and some of us do it b/c meat gives us digestive problems. Meat is not a part of my diet, anymore, but I still want something totally gross to counteract my hangover on occasion (like today). Does fake chicken taste like chicken? Well on occasion it does actually. Let me try again: should you be drawing a direct corollary between a hamburger and a soy burger? No. Come on people. If you eat meat, and want junk food, fine. Go to the bazillion fast food places that cater to you. I’m happy that someone’s made a place for me and my booze-residue filled stomach to chase the booze– I mean blues– away. Thank you and good night.

  • ‘The Drunken Veggie’

    I can see a new Blog starting up!!!

  • The doucheness of this has gone fucking galactic.

    Callingyouout: DOUCHE

    Angela: DOUCHE

    Now, Crackhead: DOUCHE

  • Angela is on the rag :-P

  • DO vegans mensturate?

    Surely their wombs would only bleed fair trade canberry juice.

  • Rudy has done it yet again!
    God save the Queen, etc.

  • Too much hate coming to and from the vegans… It is possible to express a point of view without being judgemental.

    But in terms of the health angle, fat isn’t the only factor. When you eat meat in fast food restaurants, you’re getting poor quality meat heavily pumped up with antibiotics. Having less of that is a good thing. I eat meat sometimes but I’m conscious of where it’s coming from and haven’t eaten fast food in a long time. That said I miss that greasy fast food taste and will be happy to give zen burger a try.

    ps: Zach, hope you keep making the ad revenue. Last I checked I’ve never paid a dime to enjoy this site…

  • To Peter Lusk, Douchemaster General:

    Please disclose any relationship/investment you may have in this apparently wildly unpopular restaurant.

    And if you’re going to try to insult people, at least learn how to spell. It’s “tons” not “tones.” You did it twice so it’s no typo.

    Idiot.

  • Angela……..just a wild guess, but are you in the process of divorcing paul mcartney?

  • Angela,if one ‘is what one eats’ you must eat an awful lot of Dumbfuck Apples.

  • Angela = Peter Lusk with his junk stuffed back between his legs.

    Rudy = my fucking hero.

  • Rudy, whatever you do, don’t mention that most vegans are self-righteous ditzy liberal atheist drug-addled hippies who need to be beaten with a pimpstick – that’ll just get them even more rabid

  • seriously, the fair trade cranberry juice comment is the funniest thing i have ever read
    rudy you have outdone yourself

  • Wow, not only did I always have an uneasy relationship with this site because I could only imagine the hundreds of mediocre, post-college, overweight Americans (“New Yorkers”) sitting in their pathetic cubicles reading about the next delicious lunch they will eat on their sadly assigned time slot to go eat, but now we’ve confirmed the simplicity and conformity of their minds through the disgustingly sexist comments exhibited by half of them. Thanks for restoring the faith here, boys. I knew I would eventually be reassured why I never took an office job when I graduated and continue to avoid pubs and the West Village like the fucking plague. Here’s to an indistinguishable, average life!

  • PS: Yes, it is sexist to “HUG” women in consolation, you fucking loser. Also, talking about us being “on the rag” is perpetuating a great sense of inferiority in our culture. I wouldn’t expect anything less from someone who can’t handle the concept of a “burger” not made out of a cow. Does your brain also hurt when someone talks to you about energy-saving lightbulbs and homosexuals? Get out of New York.

  • Not so long ago we’d burn you.

  • Kathy,very well put and consice stance on your extreme left wing pantsuit views.

    But the uestion still stands.

    Do you Swallow?

Leave a Reply

You must log in or register to post a comment.