Wow… where to start on this one.

1. Posted in a law firm kitchen.  Don’t those people make enough money?

2. Points for clever use of DNA. Bonus points for not making it clear exactly what he would be using as “seasoning”. Not knowing is always scarier.

3. Was this salad homemade or from a chain? I’m guessing it was homemade- because if you’re adding “DNA seasoning” to your lunchtime leftovers while at work, that is gross. And who steals homemade food out of the fridge anyway? You don’t know where that stuff came from, or how good a cook your co-worker is. If you are going to steal, stick to lunchtime leftovers from actual restaurants.

4. Finally, a tip for people with leftovers. Finish your damn food! Leftovers is never an issue with me…

If you were hoping to cross the Avenue of the Americas for lunch purposes today, you may be very disappointed.  The MLB All Star Parade will be shutting down 6th Avenue from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. today, from 40th Street all the way up to 58th Street, and while there will be some cross streets open to pedestrians along the route, I think it’s safe to say you should pretty much steer clear of 6th Avenue during lunch;  unless of course you have an interest in watching grown men in baseball uniforms walk down the street for absolutely no reason (they didn’t even win nothing,) in which case you must be very excited.

From yesterday’s NY Post:

A well-dressed, well-coiffed daytime purse-snatcher has been targeting unsuspecting women [in Midtown] as they lunch… He is responsible for at least eight handbag heists in the last six weeks, and possibly as many as nine more… surveillance tapes show the scoundrel on April 21, at Chef Yu near Penn Station… The bandit has stealthily strutted off with thousands of dollars from ladies lunching at the Bread Factory Café in the Theater District, Koryodang Bakery in Midtown, Café Duke near the Port Authority bus terminal, the Radisson’s Martinique Café on Broadway, among others. The thief was last spotted striking the Bread Factory Café on May 10 and 12, where he stole a handbag, a camera and a wallet containing an undisclosed amount of cash and credit cards.

I would normally say ‘people who eat at places like “Bread Factory Cafe” deserve to be robbed’, but Chef Yu and Cafe Duke? Those are bonafide Midtown Lunches! Be careful out there…

For more info, or to donate money, go to http://www.cityharvest.org/skiplunch/

[Via Gothamist]

A friendly little Public Service Announcement for all our practicing Catholics.  If you are looking for a cheap and quick meatless lunch that doesn’t involve a filet o’ fish sandwich from McDonald’s, check out my personal favorite fried fish sandwich in Midtown at Kim’s Aunt Kitchen Cart on 45th St. just East of 6th Ave.  If you’re not into that, there are plenty of recommendations from my lent post from last year… all of the places listed still apply (except for Ressie May’s which has closed.)  I won’t be crazy enough to recommend Zen Burger (for fear of drawing the anger of all the commenters),  but their whole menu would be lent friendly as well…

Got your own suggestion?  Post it as a comment below…

Related: Friday Guide to Midtown Lent

The tree lighting ceremony is tonight.  So if you work in a Midtown building, that does not have an underground tunnel to the subway- don’t even bother trying to leave work.  What’s that?  You work 6 blocks and 2 avenues away from Rockefeller Center?  I defy you to ignore to the suckiness.  It’s impossible.  I’m angry right now- and I’m at my desk 36th floors above the madness.

Also, please refer as many tourists as possible to this site, forwarded to me by Profiled Midtown Lunch’er Conrad Logic.  ”The Ministry of Tourism Abatement“ will help them to follow important rules, such as “walk at a brisk pace”, don’t ask “directions from residents who are clearly busy” and “dine in chain and franchise restaurants only”.

This concludes the Midtown Public Service Announcement.