I’ve been made fun of a lot in the comments since I decided to not eat one of those terrible looking, shrink wrapped sandwiches from the Walgreens in Times Square. For any of you who may have missed it, I’ll briefly recap: awhile back, I posted that if there was something you were afraid to try in Midtown you could “dare” me to eat it, and I would be happy to oblige. Whether it was banana sushi from a generic deli, or steak from Tad’s, or a beef liver sandwich from a cart, the idea was that I would be more than willing to try something that a Midtown Lunch’er was curious about, but didn’t want to eat themselves.

I was dared to eat a sandwich from the new Walgreens in Times Square- and fully intended to eat it, until I got there and discovered that the sandwiches were actually pre-processed and shipped from Massachusetts. It was like being dared to eat a Lean Cuisine or a Stouffer’s Pizza, and I thought it went against the spirit of the original “service” I agreed to provide. I put my foot down and decided not to eat it.

Most of the abuse and jokes about my not eating the sandwich are easily laughed off (I’m a big boy, and this is the life I’ve chosen), but yesterday one comment really bugged me:

“Zach, it’s just a damn sandwich! : ) All right. I’m going to get on my soapbox now. (Violins playing in background) I get the whole thing of not eating anything that’s less than delicious. But there is something a wee bit spoiled about refusing to eat something that’s probably not super yummy because it’s shrink-wrapped and it won’t be as heavenly as Panda Express (which still stumps me). Maybe it’s because I’ve been to a lot of third-world countries where a lot of the people don’t have this privilege of choosing what and where to eat. At the end of the day, it’s just nourishment. We’re lucky enough to be in a position where we can make choices. End soapbox. So, Zach, I really think you shouldn’t have chickened out on the bet. –Boo”

Really? That’s where you want to go with this? Midtown Lunch is more of a fun site, and doesn’t really ever get serious (mostly because I don’t think anybody wants to hear about my political or social views about anything, you just want to read about places to eat lunch), but this one I had to respond to.

The comment I posted in response to “Boo” is after the jump…

Are you freaking joking? This is your defense of a shrink wrapped, pre-processed sandwich sold by a Times Square drugstore? I should eat this because we’re lucky to live in the one of the richest countries in the world? That is just stupid. By that rationale, I shouldn’t say anything tastes bad on this website. I should just be happy we have access to it?

Panda Express is one of my guilty pleasures… I admit it. And there’s no defending it. But at least it tastes good. I didn’t eat Walgreens because I knew it wouldn’t taste good. Make a fresh sandwich in your drug store, and wrap it in shrink wrap and I’ll eat it. Pump something full of preservatives and ship it across country to be eaten two weeks after it was assembled? No thanks. You want to find something to be pissed off about in this country, there it is.

I agree with you that we should be incredibly happy living in the USA… and I have done plenty of food traveling to countries much poorer than this one, that has made me very appreciative of what we have access to. But eating a sandwich from Walgreens doesn’t support that thinking in any way. Personally I would rather eat at the carts and restaurants run by people who came from these third world countries (and send money back to their families there), then buy a shrink wrapped sandwich from Walgreens.

He then responded with this:

@ Zach — Unless I’m mistaken, didn’t you agree to eat a Walgreens sandwich during a bet? I’m not saying you should eat the sandwich of your own free will when you have lots of other great things to choose from. But to go back on your words because you don’t want to eat a shrink-wrapped processed sandwich is kind of lame. It’s not like we’re asking you to eat what Andrew Zimmern ate on Bizarre Foods last night. To be perfectly honest, your vehemence of your disapproval of the Walgreen sandwich sounds a bit petty. Then again, that’s my opinion, and it’s your site and your body and you will choose what to do. But I think there are a lot of people on this site who would love to see you eat the sandwich and give feedback.

Boo – I would *gladly* eat every single thing that Andrew Zimmern has eaten on Bizarre Foods, over eating the Walgreens Sandwich. (And that includes the blood milkshake he ate on Wednesday night.)

I’ve said it a million times, and I’ll say it again… if they made the sandwiches fresh in the Walgreens- (or even somewhere in New York state!!!) I would gladly give them a chance. But why would I try a sandwich that was made in Boston two weeks ago, shrink wrapped and shipped to Times Square? In what bizzarro world would that be something that *anybody* would ever want to eat? Blondie and Brownie and Wined and Dined both tried the sandwiches and agreed they would never go back. I think that is plenty of “feedback” for anybody who is truly interested…

I considered going and eating [the sandwich] to shut everybody up, but now- you know what. I’m taking a stand. I’m NEVER eating that sandwich. It’s not about being worried that I’ll get sick (I’m sure I won’t) or even caring whether or not it tastes good or not. It’s about knowing- without even trying it- that it is nothing that any self respecting Midtown Lunch’er would ever want to eat.

And that’s the end of that.  Now back to your regularly scheduled, Midtown Lunch frivolity.

(There was more nonsense about “By your logic, Treats Truck shouldn’t be on this site either” because they bake their cookies outside of Midtown, but it’s not even worth reprinting. If you’re interested you can just read it yourself in the comments.)

Forget about vacuum packed sandwiches made in Massachusetts and shipped to Walgreens… this is what I’m talking about! From an Egyptian cart called the “Charcoal Grill” on 55th btw. Mad+5th, which also has “Egyptian sausages” (whatever that means.) Anybody sampled the liver sandwich from this cart yet?

Photo courtesy of Blondie and Brownie 

I was hoping that my post about not eating the sandwiches at Walgreens after being dared by a reader would elicit sympathy from the Midtown Lunch commenters… but clearly not. I thought turning my nose up at shrink wrapped sandwiches, shipped from Massachusetts to giant pharmacies would increase my cred- not destroy it!  Boy was I wrong…

You buy food from anonymous unlicensed people standing on the street selling shit illegally that they made in their home with no idea about the sanitation, storage, source ingredients or skill….people who just randomly show up on a sidewalk every now and then with a stack of styrofoam containers…..and you balk at sandwiches made by a company that is accountable to health inspectors and other governmental agencies, giant corporate customers (Walgreens in this case) not to mention shareholders/investors. ???????????? Obviously a company can screw up just as easily as an individual, but your risk/reward paradigm has gotten severely messed up. -Ben

Yes! Exactly! In fact, when you consider what the Government allows our corporations to get away with-and conversely, the hoops they force street vendors to jump through- I am much more comfortable eating street meat. Not to mention, I didn’t welsh on the dare because I was afraid of getting sick, I welshed because the sandwiches had no chance of being something Midtown Lunch readers would want to eat.

Or so I thought…

Both Wined & Dined and Blondie and Brownie capitalized on my moral outrage failings as a self-proclaimed fat man, and tried the Walgreens sandwiches for themselves- to much fanfare in the comments:

You’re good ppl by me. That turkey sub doesn’t look bad at all. And for 4 bucks, that’s a steal. The burger looks weak, and I know you only bought it for shock value, but a job well done. We can chill anytime. You’ve got yourself a new fan.

Zach, you are on thin ice. Step up to the challenge and reclaim some dignity. When I first saw this site, you totally transformed the way I think about midtwon lunch. I never once tried Street Meat and now I eat it 2-3 days a week. Biryani Kart and Kwik Meal are my favorite places to eat. I get Indian buffet and food from a news stand because you told me to. There were two mottos: lunch under $10 and have an open mind.

Restore our faith in you and eat a sandwich. Please, for the sake of midtown-lunchers everywhere. I’ll gladly come with you for moral support if you want. Sincerely, DougieC

Dougie C, how did we let it get to this point? Were there signs that something has been wrong for awhile, or was it just a switch that turned off inside your heart?  Damnit, I should have just eaten the damn sandwich…

Wait… no! I don’t feel bad… I didn’t not eat the sandwich because I was scared. I didn’t eat the sandwich because it was assembled and produced by a company outside of New York, and shrink wrapped before being shipped to Midtown. What am I saying is, these sandwiches would survive a nuclear holocaust. There was no way this was going to be a legitimate Midtown Lunch, and to even mention them in the same breath as Biryani Cart or Kwik Meal is terrible!

Shrink wrap is where i draw the line people… I think it takes these sandwiches even out of the 7-11/gas station sandwich category, and makes it more like a frozen dinner or something. Should I start writing about Stouffer’s, if they are sold in Midtown delis? Is there nobody who will sympathize with my decision!

I’m sorry if I’ve let you some of you down… but lucky for you, there are other blogs that seem willing to take up the “gross pre-packaged sandwich” beat! Sorry, I just can’t do it. (Gross pre-packaged Asian food, maybe. But sandwiches? No thanks.)  Hopefully I won’t have to turn in my ‘fat guy’ membership card. Could I redeem myself by eating a Tad’s Steak, sandwiched between two fried fish sandwiches from the Kim’s Aunt Kitchen Cart?  And then we can never speak of this again. I’ll even drink the saran wrapped wine, if it will make you love me once again…

Being a man of my word, I headed over to the new Walgreens in Times Square to try one of their *ahem* sandwiches.  Now, let me just say this: on the walk over there, a lot of thoughts went through my mind.  “How do I get out of this?” “I don’t really have to do this, do I?” ”There are good excuses I could make”  But I finally settled on this… I was going to do it.  Why not?  Sure, daring me to eat a sandwich at Walgreens is kind of against the spirit of my initial deal to eat anything in Midtown I was dared to eat… but that’s ok.  My stomach has been through worse… it could handle a crappy, pre-packaged deli sandwich from a pharmacy. Right?

That of course was before I knew what I was up against…

Let me just quick restate this… I WAS 100% GOING TO EAT ONE OF THESE SANDWICHES WHEN I STEPPED INTO THAT WALGREENS.  But what nobody told me was this… the sandwiches at Walgreens are not like the sandwiches at say a 7-11.  They aren’t made at Walgreens.  They aren’t even made *by* Walgreens at some centrally located Walgreens owned kitchen (which I’m assuming is how it works at 7-11.)  They’re made by a company called “Beantown”, and then vacuum packed in plastic, and placed in paper bags before being sold. Let me say this again… vacuum… packed… in… plastic.  These aren’t just pre-packaged crappy deli sandwiches.  These are cry-o-vac’d monstrosities that may or may not have been made weeks ago, before being sealed and maybe or maybe not shipped all the way from a place like Boston (that’s the only ‘Beantown’ I know.) 

Fuck that.  If you see something weird or gross, and think “gee, I wonder if that’s good. It may be disgusting, but it may be decent…” that’s the kind of thing you can dare me eat. $3 tripe from a cart.  Why not.  Banana sushi?  Bring it on.  (Hell, I even ate at Tad’s!) Seeing something you know is going to be gross, that you or I would never eat in a million years- well, daring me to eat that is just torture. And I will not submit myself to torture.  Cop out?  Maybe. But the grossness I consume on a daily basis, is reason enough for me to be mildly ashamed in front of my friends and family.  I’m not adding Walgreens to that list.

In other words, the line must be drawn somewhere… and I’m drawing it here. After all, if I submit myself to be dared to eat anything, then what’s next?  “Hey Zach, I took a dump in a bag, sealed it in plastic, and left it on the corner of 51st Street and 6th Ave.  I dare you to eat it.”  Actually, you know what… that might be more appetizing than these sandwiches. Do I like to eat poop?  No.  But if you held a gun to my head, and gave me a choice between the two, I’m just saying I wouldn’t automatically go for the Walgreens sandwich.

The $1 mini-bags of chocolate covered pretzels and butter toffee peanuts I spotted on my way out… now those are a different story.  (I couldn’t end the post with me saying I would eat a bag of poop, right?)

“I went to the new Walgreen’s in Times Square today and I noticed they have food there!!!  I dare you to try a sandwich, or worse, a salad.”

After eating the terrible banana sushi at Bagelfeller on 48th (R.I.P.) I stupidly said I would eat anything in Midtown if dared by a reader.  It’s what lead me to finally summon the courage to enter Tad’s Steaks… and it has clearly led to the email above from “Bionicgrrrl”.

Seriously?  Walgreens?  C’mon now. Really?  I mean, it’s not even that I’m scared of eating a disgusting sandwich;  it’s more a matter of being morally disgusted. Is there any getting out of this one?