Today I had the JLT (*very very good*, and buttery), the crab louie (the sum was greater than the parts for sure), and the corn soup (very good as well, the poblano gave a nice bite). Yeah sure, $28 for lunch ($1 donation, and…. free recycling bag, so that’s more like a $25 lunch!)

That aside, today I realized the real reason for today’s slowness.

THEY HIRED MODELS AS FOOD PREPARERS

Seriously, look at the people serving food. They don’t look like they’ve ever served food before. The klutz making my sandwich could hardly wrap the pickle (convoluted in it’s own right), and his knife skills scared me. It probably took 40 seconds to take a sandwich, cut it, wrap it (isn’t that backwards?), take a pickle (he picked it out of the jar like he was handling nuclear waste, he looked afraid of the tongs), wrap that, and hand it to me. This guy looked like he should be standing outside of Abercrombie & Fitch without a shirt or something (I never understood how you market clothes while not wearing any….)

I noticed the person pouring the soups had a similar issue. For starters, the containers were above her head, so she was lading everything at that height, so she had to keep the cup under the center of the ladel and tip over, and let gravity eventually do the rest.

I mean, really. All the best chefs in the world, and this is the best you could come up with for service? No wonder the lines were out the door.

They were “alright.” Andres was there and super friendly, but I thought the meatballs were surprisingly dry for how nicely cooked they were (still a little pink!). Too beefy I think, and I didn’t really taste the peaches in mine or my co-workers. The jus was way better than the actual ‘balls (sopped it up with bread.. very good).

The tomato soup tasted like it was from a box. It was good, but nothing to write home about. The grilled cheese croutons made it something special, but it should have been able to stand on its own.

The JLT was very very good, albeit small, but yes.. very very good.

My big problem was this: the thing is SPONSORED BY VISA. There are visa ads -everywhere-. How could they not have more than one person checking people out in the CC lane, and how could they blow it so hard?

I mean, I was cash anyway, and they forgot to charge me for my meatballs ($9 off!) so no harm no foul really, but cmon guys.

Def. not worth the long-arse wait for a puny $9+ sandwich. Snore.

Also, the lines were a combination of crowd control and technical difficulties. They had a hard time keeping their credit card systems going. I was on a credit only line, and saw that the cash line was moving more quickly, so I moved there. Afterwards, the credit lines became cash only because the credit systems broke. Midway through waiting, the credit card system on my line started working, so my line became credit only… It’s hard to fault them, it’s hard to keep this kind of tech working for an impromptu store.

I got the meatballs, which wound up leaking on the trip back to work, so I have to wash out the free recyclable tote bag.

I tell you this though, Jose Andres could teach Ikea a thing or two about meatballs.