Airing of Grievances: You Are a Loser For Not Eating the Walgreens Sandwich!
All grievances are valid, even when they are aimed at yours truly…
Photo courtesy of Blondie and Brownie
I was hoping that my post about not eating the sandwiches at Walgreens after being dared by a reader would elicit sympathy from the Midtown Lunch commenters… but clearly not. I thought turning my nose up at shrink wrapped sandwiches, shipped from Massachusetts to giant pharmacies would increase my cred- not destroy it! Boy was I wrong…
You buy food from anonymous unlicensed people standing on the street selling shit illegally that they made in their home with no idea about the sanitation, storage, source ingredients or skill….people who just randomly show up on a sidewalk every now and then with a stack of styrofoam containers…..and you balk at sandwiches made by a company that is accountable to health inspectors and other governmental agencies, giant corporate customers (Walgreens in this case) not to mention shareholders/investors. ???????????? Obviously a company can screw up just as easily as an individual, but your risk/reward paradigm has gotten severely messed up. -Ben
Yes! Exactly! In fact, when you consider what the Government allows our corporations to get away with-and conversely, the hoops they force street vendors to jump through- I am much more comfortable eating street meat. Not to mention, I didn’t welsh on the dare because I was afraid of getting sick, I welshed because the sandwiches had no chance of being something Midtown Lunch readers would want to eat.
Or so I thought…
Both Wined & Dined and Blondie and Brownie capitalized on my moral outrage failings as a self-proclaimed fat man, and tried the Walgreens sandwiches for themselves- to much fanfare in the comments:
You’re good ppl by me. That turkey sub doesn’t look bad at all. And for 4 bucks, that’s a steal. The burger looks weak, and I know you only bought it for shock value, but a job well done. We can chill anytime. You’ve got yourself a new fan.
Zach, you are on thin ice. Step up to the challenge and reclaim some dignity. When I first saw this site, you totally transformed the way I think about midtwon lunch. I never once tried Street Meat and now I eat it 2-3 days a week. Biryani Kart and Kwik Meal are my favorite places to eat. I get Indian buffet and food from a news stand because you told me to. There were two mottos: lunch under $10 and have an open mind.
Restore our faith in you and eat a sandwich. Please, for the sake of midtown-lunchers everywhere. I’ll gladly come with you for moral support if you want. Sincerely, DougieC
Dougie C, how did we let it get to this point? Were there signs that something has been wrong for awhile, or was it just a switch that turned off inside your heart? Damnit, I should have just eaten the damn sandwich…
Wait… no! I don’t feel bad… I didn’t not eat the sandwich because I was scared. I didn’t eat the sandwich because it was assembled and produced by a company outside of New York, and shrink wrapped before being shipped to Midtown. What am I saying is, these sandwiches would survive a nuclear holocaust. There was no way this was going to be a legitimate Midtown Lunch, and to even mention them in the same breath as Biryani Cart or Kwik Meal is terrible!
Shrink wrap is where i draw the line people… I think it takes these sandwiches even out of the 7-11/gas station sandwich category, and makes it more like a frozen dinner or something. Should I start writing about Stouffer’s, if they are sold in Midtown delis? Is there nobody who will sympathize with my decision!
I’m sorry if I’ve let you some of you down… but lucky for you, there are other blogs that seem willing to take up the “gross pre-packaged sandwich” beat! Sorry, I just can’t do it. (Gross pre-packaged Asian food, maybe. But sandwiches? No thanks.) Hopefully I won’t have to turn in my ‘fat guy’ membership card. Could I redeem myself by eating a Tad’s Steak, sandwiched between two fried fish sandwiches from the Kim’s Aunt Kitchen Cart? And then we can never speak of this again. I’ll even drink the saran wrapped wine, if it will make you love me once again…
Posted: 11:30 am, January 23rd, 2009 under Airing of Grievances, Dare.
64 Comments | RSS comments feed for this post
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64 Comments
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Zach,
You should eat at Subway for 1 whole week as penance.
Shame on you!
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I still love you Zach. Shrink wrapped sandwiches = disgusting.
Besides, I read this blog to find out where the GOOD food is, not shit that’s worse than what I can get at a gas station.
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“Could I redeem myself by eating a Tad’s Steak, sandwiched between two fried fish sandwiches from the Kim’s Aunt Kitchen Cart?”
if you do this – you get my respect until my dying day
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Dude, I totally don’t blame you for going for that sandwich… even at times when I had a sandwich from 7-11 I kinda mentally freaked out about what I was eating…
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Haha…I’m down with you drawing the line at shrink-wrap.
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Midtown Lunch: The Dramatic Miniseries – will be back next week on this channel
Future sponsors include Stewart’s Sandwiches and Drake’s Devil Dogs
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every eat a twinkie? hostess cupcake? 7/11 burrito? vacuum packing keeps things fresh longer. isn’t that a good idea. go try the sandwich or lose me forever.
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I think the point here is not the provenance of the sandwich, perceived quality or lack thereof that is the issue. We give you our loyal readership, you give us your word and promptly break it over an innocuous sandwich. Next time you just gotta rev the throttle and jump those sharks, Fonzie. Yeah, I said it.
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blondie is hilarious and a total badass for bustin’ out the blue label. much respect. and zach you can take your time on the tad’s steak b/t 2 fried fish sandwiches from Kim’s…i’m not running out anytime soon to steal your thunder. but it would be f’in awesome if someone else did….who’s steppin’ up?
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I was on the fence on this one, but now I agree. You should try it. I usually stay away from those sandwhiches, even at supermarkets. But some are better than others like 7/11.
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What I’m getting from this is that Zach is big anti-corporation/establishment. He shuns large-national companies for their efficiency in food preparation/distribution claiming the manufacturing/distribution process affects taste or nutrients.
He champions the local, salt-of-the-earth food preparer despite obvious deficiencies in food preparation and distribution efficiency. (niche shops and food carts, or bag ladys). The larger the operation the “grosser” the food is, the smaller the operation (bag lady) the more amazing it is.Zach is the People’s midtown lunch.
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We should all go to Gay Supermans blog .
And take the piss outa him instead.
Wayne, get ya clutch bag.
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expertly said AL@1PP!
Now all you losers out there stop your bitching and go eat some lamb and rice! Power to the People!!
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don’t do it Zach! Someone did have to tell the tourists not to eat those. I don’t see it as your failings, more like we were going for class participation points.
Thank you W&D, what better way to compliment a $4 shrink-wrapped sandwich than with a $200 bottle of whiskey. I don’t know how you pulled that off at work. That’s a line I couldn’t cross.
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it was actually pretty funny. i had to heat the double cheeseburger up in the office kitchen microwave and everyone looked at my like i was some kind of freak (which i may be). it stunk worse than day-old microwaved salmon. two people asked me what i was eating and i responded that we are representing plaintiffs in a class-action suit against a processed sandwich company out of boston that is out to poison new york yankees fans. i then snuck back to my office to devour the monstrosities.
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@Stan: i think thats the point. who knows how long its been in that shrink wrap! yea, it can keep something “fresh” for a month, but its still a month old!
Zach, do what you want. All you haters out there, man up and go try it yourself and do your own review.
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Someone just issue a new dare already… ooh! Do any of the midtown Japanese places offer natto? Cuz I won’t eat that. And I don’t think it’s shrink wrapped. If you eat that, I think everyone should stfu already. NATTO is Japanese for “nasty”. Just kidding. I think :X
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what does “bulkie” mean?
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Whether or not that Walgreen’s sandwich was decent, I’d rather spend $4 on a couple of rice balls from Zaiya any day. The rice balls that Mr. Midtown Lunch introduced to the masses. Cheers to you, Zach!
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Blondie: I hope Johnnie doesn’t hear you, he might faint at being called a whiskey lol.
W&D: There are quite a lot of NYY fans out there who deserve to be poisoned. -
it’s more bullshit boston/new england terminology
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The point of this site is identify food we WANT to eat not HAVE to eat.
As discretion is truly the better part of valor, not eating a Walgreen’s prepackaged sandwich was the right decision.
We read this site to discover new, cool things to eat in Midtown. The most a Walgreen sandwich lunch would have yielded to us is a bland confirmation that it was edible – i want more groundbreaking information than that… -
I sympathize with you Zach. Growing up here, I’ve had my fair share of street meat. But the one and only time I’ve had serious food poisoning was funny looking take out chicken from a restaurant. At the time, I thought, “could it be worse than street meat?”. Next thing I know, I was bedridden for a week. So now I have boundaries that I will not cross. I can’t fathom the thought of not being able to eat for another week!
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Hey Zach,
I fully agree with your logic on comparing a Walgreen’s sandwich to a Stouffer’s Lean Cuisine. Keep eating food made by NYers, for NYers.
My one comment on this topic – Midtown needs a WaWa, their hoagies are great. -
This is hilarious. haha
But one quick note between eating food from a strange lady selling on the sidewalk versus shrink wrapped sandwiches.
It’s a lot easier to discount sanitation than you might think. What’s more salient is whether the food “looks” tasty. Absurd thought but it’s true. This is why we can scarf down caloric monstrosities from Hardees and not think about cardiac arrest.
I’m sure NASA astronauts eat super clean food up in space but one look at that thing and you’re pretty sure you won’t want to eat it as much as food from a Halal cart.
So Ben has it all wrong.
The other thing is… dude, Zach… you shoulda at least purchased one and taken ONE bite. Come on! I thought you’re a blogging super star! You hang out with world class mixologists and you chicken out on a sandwich? I thought I knew you…
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I am the ben from the post and I’m still a little disappointed. To clarify though, I wasn’t talking about licensed street vendors. I was referencing the unlicensed ones that Zach posted about and sold food like a drug deal on the sidewalk. The Walgreens sandwich was probably going to suck, but there was a chance it wouldn’t and we all would be a little richer for having found out that in a pinch you can get a a decent sandwich, or bulkie, at Walgreens. Even though it did end up sucking I thought it unlike Midtown lunch to not at least try. That’s the aspect of this site that I thought was left unfulfilled by refusing the dare.
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The reason I started checking out this site was to get a new perspective on midtown lunch. I used to frequent $8 non-descript sandwich delis, Chipotle, and *gasp* Europa Cafe.
After getting on this site, it was like I took the red pill in the Matrix. There was no going back. All the wonders of this city were illuminated in this site. I felt like no stone was unturned, no street meat uneaten. I started eating foods I’d never dream of touching a year ago.
The issue now, the whole crisis of confidence (or the Walgreens Dilemna) is that, I feel like there are now things that you might be foregoing for no legitimate reason. So its shrink-wrapped. So what? Before I read about Biryani Cart on this site, I passed by it everyday laughing at the people who dare eat from that dirty cart. Now I know better.
My qualm is that you’re treating Walgreens just like I treated Biryani Cart. I was sure it was awful and gross and probably some form of rodent. My eyes were opened by you. I’m not trying to argue that Walgreen’s sandwich is going to be some great find, but if we can’t trust you to give it a try, how many other eateries might you be shunning for the same reason? How many potential cheap eats are getting left off your list?
Just eat the sandwich. It will not kill you or make you sick. Your stomach is the stuff of legends. It will put an end to the Walgreens Dilemna of 2009 and let us get back to trusting you with absolute faith. Do it for us, but more importantly, do it for yourself.
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@Yvo: Thank God he’s dead.
I’m finding it interesting that some people want you to eat it because it’s in Midtown, yet some don’t want you to try it because it appears (and is) vile. It’s like “you said you’d eat anything” vs. “this isn’t good food, don’t eat it.”
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Just eat the bloody sarnie!!!
Jesus fucking wept man.
I know you’re a new dad…but Harry will have to live with the shame of this if you don’t.
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If Ben thinks giganto-corporate food is safe just because it’s made by companies accountable to shareholders, somebody better tell him QUICK to watch out for those nutter-butters. And spinach & ground beef & …
I’m totally with you zach in your decision to pass up the shrinkwrapped walgreens sandwich, but my logic isn’t that it’s shipped from out of state but rather that it’s NOT FOOD. To my mind: made by hand = food; made in a factory = not food. Yea I know it’s pretty blurry math, but in some cases, like sandwiches in a walgreens, the final outcome seems pretty clear.
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Zach, you are a PUSSY.
Eat the effing SANDWICH already!!!!!!!!!!
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Towards the end of his career, John Holmes had er….potency issues as well
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Zach,
I’m with you on this. Midtown Lunch is supposed to bring us cheap AND good food. The sandwich is cheap, but it doesn’t look good nor tasty. Even looking at the other sites, neither had good things to say about it.
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I think the underlying point Zach is trying to make , and pardon if I got it all wrong, is that a “midtown lunch” should be sourced from local ingredients and/or prepared by local people. I think if either criteria cant be met, it should not be considered mid town lunchable if it is under $10.
Cryo packaged sammiches dont count. Have some pride in our local food service and what goes into what we eat.
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This is the best quote:
unlicensed [street vendors that] sold food like a drug deal on the sidewalk.
Street food is like a drug! A delicious drug!
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Sorry, Zach, unpersuaded. And just a little disillusioned…excuse me, I’ve got something in my eye here…I stop working in Midtown and you let your castiron stomach go…
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I won’t hold it against you Zach! I agree that it is not a proper lunch—. This site isn’t about “what could I dare Zach to eat that could be found within the ML Boundaries?” At the same time, by declaring you won’t eat it, you certainly have unintentionally thrown down a ML Gauntlet—-especially when you compared it to eating poopy! After my freshman yr of college, back in 1993, I had a friend come back who had just got into a frat, and he said after initiation into his frat, he could eat anything. I told him i’d pay him 50 bucks to eat a piece of my poop on a cracker, if he chewed it for 7 seconds without any chaser for the 7 seconds. He ate it, and I paid up! I also was on the floor of his house, convulsing with tears of laughter for a good 2 hrs after he swallowed the poopy!!!!! EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
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Give him a break! It is a healthy sign that he is able to refuse SOME food. Hang in there!
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Can we please have Mamacita drunk in a Bar/Pub review please.
I want to see her stuffed spuds this week.
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GOATS, that was gross. I am no long stalking you! ewww
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To the Big Z, at first I thought I was going to knock you for chickening out on the dare but after reading the following description of the “Beantown Deli” products on this corporate site, I have to admit you made the right decision.
http://www.garberbros.com/programs.cfm
According to the site, it’s not food, it’s a ‘“fresh made sandwich and salad” program’.
Their quotes around the words ‘fresh made sandwich and salad’ not mine.
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Goats
Would that Make it a Ritz Shitz Cracker?
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Remember how every post for the first week of the year got about 2 comments each?
I’m starting to think this was all an engineered stunt by Zach to rev up readership.
He is the David Blaine of street food
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Mamacita! Where we going today???? Surely you won’t hold a childish prank I pulled 16 yrs ago against me now???? I mean, it’s not like I threw pee on someone—-oh wait—that was 19 yrs ago….You see, freshman year of high school…..I had this neighbor who used to throw plums at my friends…..AND……
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Good one Rudy! Unfortunately, I think it was a saltine, not a ritz—or was it a townhouse??? LOL
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Hey Dubya E! — if you were more open and transparent, you would have included the rest of the quote from the Beantown website: “Our products are delivered fresh to you and deliver the quality and taste to keep customers coming back for more.” Just like the Starbucks food isn’t made on site — which although may not be your favorite, is decent and most would not fuss about at least trying — it is delivered regularly to ensure freshness and quality. Please at least try the turkey sandwich.
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Goats, that is disgusting. Quite possibly the second most disgusting thing i’ve heard all week.
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Sandwich is one thing… but a double cheeseburger “bulkie” would be where i draw the line… Burgers do NOT get microwaved… Bulkie sounds like what i’d call the aftermath of eating one of those things… This has been some dilemma… eat it? dont eat it?
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This charade needs to end. Eat the sandwich and be done with it!
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I agree with Pickled Herring that Zach gets off on a technicality. This blog is called “Midtown Lunch,” and it seems likely that this sandwich was not assembled is midtown. Like Zach said, is he supposed to start eating Stouffers? Also, it’s not even *that* disgusting, so it’s kind of a stupid dare. Of course, that just begs the question of why Zach doesn’t just eat it to shut everyone up. After all, it will only set him back $4.
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I’m so eff’n angry. Right now I could care less about the economy, wars or melting ice caps. Look, there’s only three “nevers” in this life: never get suckered into Wednesday sushi specials, never ride Greyhound and never go camping with Burt Reynolds. Put the damn sandwich on a plate, put a homemade sandwich next to it and rock a public taste-off…chances are you won’t know the gd difference. Eat…the…ef’n…sandwich!
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Stan, a fair point, I stand corrected.
I was just so amused by the quotes around the earlier terms, I ignored the rest.
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Howard, I will add your nevers to the the following nevers I try to live life by from the Princess Bride
Vizzini: “The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!”
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@Dubya – I wonder if Wallace Shawn was talking about the sicilian sub from Walgreens
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Zach, LOL!
Maybe you and Wallace Shawn can star in a sequel to My Dinner with Andre, aka My Midtown Lunch with Zach, where you can debate the nature of a midtown lunch and whether a bulkie is just a kaiser roll without the seeds.
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Like I said before, my wife was willing to eat dog feces for the sake of her perfoming career. I am told Jane Stern might, too, in certain circumstances.
It seems like the least you can do to eat that “burger” from Walgreens.
Man Up, Zach.
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Dubya El gets two points for mentioning Princess Bride.
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wait wait– people don’t call it a bulkie roll elsewhere? This is like when I learned you could only get brown bread in a can in New England. I am *shocked*
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yeah im sorry but im gonna have to side with the DONT BE WEAK people.
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Forget the sandwich—is it me or is there a stangely high number of people on this blog with poo-eating stories?
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The only thing I see wrong with the triangular sandwiches is that they are not inside vending machines (the kind with the rotating carousels), thereby eliminating the need for any human interaction in obtaining one.
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I’m with you Zach. Don’t bother with this stuff; I’m interested in hearing about food that might be obscure or hard to find, not food that’s as lazy and shoddily prepared as Walgreen’s “sandwiches.”
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After the Airing of Grievances come the Feats of Strength. Come on Zach, man up and eat the sandwich. I agree with another poster that it might be nice for people to know that there are alternatives when short on time/cash.
If you can’t stomach the thought of Walgreens, I have a new drugstore sandwich challenge for you. Go to the Duane Reade at 8th and 34th, the freestanding Duane Reade outside of Penn. There, you will find a delightful array of prepackaged sandwiches, salads, about 7 different types of jerky, massive variety of chips and even beer. The “Columbia Terror” and I did a test run the other day and it seemed like an eater’s paradise to us.
The saran wrapped wine is where I draw the line.